A Sneak Peak At X3 (stolen from spurious_logic, who took it fro

[theweaselking]

PROF X:
I assume you're wondering why I called you all here today?

MAGNETO:
Especially me, yes.

PROF X:
This pertains to all of us, Eric. You see, they've just discovered the cure for Mutism!

[astonished mutterings... rhubarb! cabbage! rhubarb!]

PROF X:
It's true! We can get cured of our bizarre mutations and live normal lives like regular people. Cyclops, you'll finally be able to take off those goggles.

CYCLOPS:
Hot damn!

PROF X:
Rogue, you'll finally be able to touch boys without them... y'know... dying.

ROGUE:
Oh wow!

PROF X:
Eric, you can stop being Jewish.

MAGNETO:
What?? Charles, that's not my mutant power.

PROF X:
What's your mutant power?

MAGNETO:
I'm the master of magnetism! I can command anything metal!

PROF X:
Oh. Well, yes. I guess I always thought that was just, y'know... just something you did. Isn't 'magneto' that cracker-bread you people eat?

MAGNETO:
Matzoh?

PROF X:
Ah! That's it!

MAGNETO:
(sotto voce) Oy, you're such an idiot!

PROF X:
And Wolverine, finally you'll be able to... to... oh.

WOLVERINE:
Yeah. "Oh." Retracting adamantium claws without the healing factor? Gee... thanks.

PROF X:
Well, we'll find something fun for you to do too. Maybe we can all go have a beer afterwards.