Jan. 28th, 2005

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Some of you may not know the awesome power of the Lobster Magnet.

I have known for a long time, but had lost the link to it. NO MORE!

Now, you must all watch, and learn, and follow.

(To quote the original authors, "It makes more sense when you realise that it doesn't make any sense.")
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How to swear in 165 languages - including Assyrian, Urdu, Maya, and sixteen regional variations of Spanish.
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Religious groups protesting topless sunbathing law in California.

So, let's see. Arguments FOR allowing topless unbathing:
1. It's inherently sexist to punish it, because a man doing the exact same thing is doing something perfectly legal
2. A recent ruling on a different law means that a woman arrested for gonig topless is charged and registered as a sex offender.

Arguments AGAINST topless sunbathing:
"We already have too many sexual assaults in society. If the state encourages women to show their breasts to men and boys at public beaches and parks, inappropriate treatment of women and girls will only worsen."

That's a direct quote from the article. "If women are attractive, THEY WILL BE RAPED AND IT IS THEIR FAULT".

Good thing you're saving people from that horrible persecution, eh?
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A high school honor roll student was suspended for taking over-the-counter pain medication, under the school's "zero tolerance" drug policy.

Haverford High School's drug and alcohol policy forbids any form of self-medicating without approval.

The senior student experiencing cramps got from a classmate a generic version of the painkiller known by the brand name Aleve.

The student still felt discomfort and went to the school nurse, telling her she earlier took Aleve. An assistant principal was summoned, and the girl who took the medication and the girl who supplied it were sent home.

"It's like throwing a hand grenade on an anthill," said the mother of the girl, whose name was not released. "This is a kid who wants to be in school, loves to be in school, and gives back to the community."

Principal Nicholas Rotoli stood by the school's response and the policy. )
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Russian mailmen to carry guns.

Without a viable bank checking system, prominent in the Western world, many Russian payments are made in cash, with bills stuffed in envelopes.

Apparently mailmen in Russia get robbed a lot.
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Kanata man plans and attends a wake tonight - his own.

Marcel Tremblay, a 78-year-old retired businessman will bid farewell to more than 50 friends and relatives at the party, to be held at an Ottawa-area hotel.

He'll enjoy a last meal of filet mignon with his family.

After hosting the wake, he'll accompany his closest family members back to his tidy brick bungalow in Kanata where he'll spend his last hour with loved ones.

Wearing his favourite blue cardigan and the most expensive white shirt and black pants he owns, Tremblay will sit in his comfy leather recliner and put a helium-inflated bag over his head.

The gas will painlessly kill him within five minutes.

Tremblay has a chronic, debilitating and incurable lung condition.

Tremblay isn't shy about admitting he hopes his death will have an impact because he feels strongly that people should have the right to decide when they die and they should have the right, if they are of sound mind, to have assistance if they need it.

He's believed in the right to die for about 20 years and has been a member of Dying with Dignity for nearly as long. He's also made financial contributions to the organization off and on since the mid-1980s.

"I'm really disgusted that something hasn't been done years ago about this," he said.

"I want to make as much noise about this as I can. Since I'm doing it anyway, why not make a lot of noise and let people know that there’s another way out of this situation if you go through all the proper channels. I've been through three psychiatrists and the police part of it."

He hopes at least some critics will see the justification in changing the laws after hearing his story.

"For me, it's the right decision," he said.
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Self-serve Shell station mistakenly prices gas at $0.18 per gallon. Hilarity ensues.

Carolyn Folsom said about 500 gallons of gas were sold during the several hours the price was down, costing the business about $1,000. The station does not have an attendant and the only way to pay is at the pump, so the mistake went unnoticed for hours.

A fuel truck driver who came to deliver gas discovered the problem and tried to block the entrance of the station with his truck, Folsom said.

But by then word was out and the rush for cheap fuel was on.

Folsom said one person threatened to hit the fuel truck driver with a hammer if he didn't stop blocking the entrance.

"That's the thing that upsets me," Folsom said. "I mean, grow up."
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Macedonian thieves must have been left shell-shocked when stealing a money bag from a bank manager only to realise later that the heavy bag was filled with sausages.

The bank manager had used an empty money bag to carry his shopping, including the sausages, when three men went into the Timor exchange office in Skopje and demanded him to hand over the money.

Seeing the bulging cloth bag lying on the counter, they grabbed it and ran off, thinking it was money.

A spokesperson said: "The manager had his sandwiches for the day and five kilograms of sausages he was going to take home later in the bag."
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The Infinite Cat Project:


Each picture in the sequence is of a cat looking at a monitor containing the previous picture in the chain.

A suggestion: Start at the end, and work back through previous pictures.
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"This does rule out the terrifying possibility of an unkillable zombie Bin Laden though."
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Supreme Court Of Canada rules that your living room is not a "public place", even *if* your neighbours can see in (with binoculars and a telescope, in this case), and hence you can't be charged with public indecency for being naked and masturbating.

While I'm on the topic, Daryl Clark's neighbours scare me.
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Man who reached into a tiger's cage and was bitten fears rabies
- and so the tiger may have to be killed, because Rabies can be confirmed only in a laboratory, using brain tissue from a dead animal.

State epidemiologist Lon Kightlinger said the 5-year-old tiger, named Cyber, might have to be euthanized.

"When there is a bite by an animal other than a dog, cat or ferret, there are two options: test the animal (for rabies) or have the person take rabies shots," he said.

Kightlinger said the fact that it's an endangered species doesn't matter. He said the city is in agreement with the two options, which are the same as the CDC guidelines.

However, Cyber remains in the tiger rotation, and zoo officials said they have no plans to destroy him.

"He's up to date on his vaccination, he's healthy, and we're not concerned that he would've transferred anything," said Dan Brands, vice president and chief operating officer of the zoo.

In order to reach the tiger, the man had to climb a 42-inch barrier fence and walk a few feet to get to a 12-foot chain-link exhibit fence. A second boundary of fencing can be found around most exhibits, except at the bird of prey exhibit and the children's zoo.
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Personally, I'd say we make the diagnosis based on *his* brain tissue, except that we don't appear to have evidence that he has any.

Oh, and "When there is a bite by an animal other than a dog, cat or ferret, there are two options: test the animal (for rabies) or have the person take rabies shots,"

This, like the victim, appears to be a no-brainer.
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Elementary school student in poor neighbouthood of Dallas found as much as $100,000 and handed it out to other children, prompting threats to the children and their families to get the money back.Now there's a drug dealer going door-to-door trying to get his money back.

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