Jul. 6th, 2006
(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2006 06:44 amThe Onion is havnig a 10th Anniversary On The Web celebration. Stop by and enjoy some of their past hits from 1999 today, like
"Ritalin Cures Next Picasso"
and "Apple Employee Fired For Thinking Different"
and the totally brilliant "Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying"
"Ritalin Cures Next Picasso"
and "Apple Employee Fired For Thinking Different"
and the totally brilliant "Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying"
(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2006 09:18 amMozart: Cures depression in elephants.
Also,
Judge rules that calling the Raelian cult leader "crazy", a "scatter-brained swindler", a "clown", and a "fraud" is not libel, on the grounds that the statements are demonstrably true.
Also,
"Rewired brain" revives patient after 19 years . An American who spent the last 19 years in a coma has recovered. Scans show that his brain slowly rebuilt the pathways it needed to return him to activity. Of course, when he woke up it took a lot of work to convince him that it wasn't 1984 and that Reagan wasn't still President - instead, he had to be convinced that it WAS 1984 and that Big Government loved him.
Also,
Utah politican: "I can't get elected because Satan is using black magic against me."
Also,
US Navy vet arrested for wearing "vets for peace" T-shirt near VA building.
Also,
Jewish family threatened with death, driven out of town in Delaware for asking that the official school prayers stop mentioning Jesus by name.
Quote of the day is on this incident:
Also,
Judge rules that calling the Raelian cult leader "crazy", a "scatter-brained swindler", a "clown", and a "fraud" is not libel, on the grounds that the statements are demonstrably true.
Also,
"Rewired brain" revives patient after 19 years . An American who spent the last 19 years in a coma has recovered. Scans show that his brain slowly rebuilt the pathways it needed to return him to activity. Of course, when he woke up it took a lot of work to convince him that it wasn't 1984 and that Reagan wasn't still President - instead, he had to be convinced that it WAS 1984 and that Big Government loved him.
Also,
Utah politican: "I can't get elected because Satan is using black magic against me."
Also,
US Navy vet arrested for wearing "vets for peace" T-shirt near VA building.
Also,
Jewish family threatened with death, driven out of town in Delaware for asking that the official school prayers stop mentioning Jesus by name.
Quote of the day is on this incident:
Please allow me to be the first to thank you and the staff of Stop The ACLU for all you did to make the Indian River Pogrom such a resounding success. It isn't easy to run a Jewish family out of town in these politically correct times. Usually, they just hunker down, hiding behind antiquated interpretations of the Constitution and the good will of those who wrongly believe that non-Christians are entitled to all of the benefits of citizenship.
Thursday is the new Wednesday!
Jul. 6th, 2006 12:09 pmBush Vetoes Recent Supreme Court Decision
Washington, D.C. - In an elaborately staged ceremony in the White House Rose Garden, George W. Bush vetoed the recent Supreme Court decision requiring [the government] to follow the United States Constitution and Geneva Conventions regarding the right of prisoners to due process and a fair and impartial trial. In issuing this first veto of his administration, Bush said the decision hampered his ability to fight terrorism and further declared "This veto of the Supreme Court decision is the right thing for America and the war against terror. Now that the Supreme Court's decision has been vetoed, I hope they get back to work and present me with a better decision that I can accept."
Scholars immediately began debating whether or not [Bush] has the right to veto a Supreme Court decision. John Yoo, speaking on Fox News, said "Yes, of course he has the right to veto a Supreme Court decision. In fact, I would say that it is clearly the Supreme Court that is wrong here." Vice President Cheney's Chief of Staff David Addington and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales agreed saying it is well within [Bush]'s power to issue such a veto.
Members of the Supreme Court who were in the majority for this decision could not be reached for comment.
Washington, D.C. - In an elaborately staged ceremony in the White House Rose Garden, George W. Bush vetoed the recent Supreme Court decision requiring [the government] to follow the United States Constitution and Geneva Conventions regarding the right of prisoners to due process and a fair and impartial trial. In issuing this first veto of his administration, Bush said the decision hampered his ability to fight terrorism and further declared "This veto of the Supreme Court decision is the right thing for America and the war against terror. Now that the Supreme Court's decision has been vetoed, I hope they get back to work and present me with a better decision that I can accept."
Scholars immediately began debating whether or not [Bush] has the right to veto a Supreme Court decision. John Yoo, speaking on Fox News, said "Yes, of course he has the right to veto a Supreme Court decision. In fact, I would say that it is clearly the Supreme Court that is wrong here." Vice President Cheney's Chief of Staff David Addington and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales agreed saying it is well within [Bush]'s power to issue such a veto.
Members of the Supreme Court who were in the majority for this decision could not be reached for comment.
Goddamn Japanese people.
Jul. 6th, 2006 04:20 pmThis is a scantily clad Oriental lady with traditional submachinegun, ringed pasties, hide shield, pleather boots, gargantuan horned kneepads, and buzzsaw-equipped strap-on dildo.
EDIT: Yes, and some kind of rat tail, too.
( If that's work-safe, well, then this is. )
EDIT: Yes, and some kind of rat tail, too.
( If that's work-safe, well, then this is. )