Oh No, They Say He's Got To Go.
May. 17th, 2014 05:53 pmLet's just start by stating the obvious: This movie sucks. The bad actors get most of the screen time, the good actors have nothing to work with, and Ken Watanabe and Arthur Spiderwick in particular are left expositing nonsense directly into the camera on a regular basis. This is a movie that has absolutely zero clear notion of how radioactivity, biology, nuclear weapons, military policy, electricity, evacuations, EMP, internal combustion engines, airplanes, or THEIR OWN MONSTERS works. It aggressively, actively, constantly contradicts itself in ways Pacific Rim looked at and say "no way, man, we can't do that. That wouldn't make any SENSE."
I'll say that again: this movie makes way less sense than Pacific Rim. Not just a little less sense, but MUCH less sense.
(And, really, you could cut the main character and his entire family ENTIRELY, and all their subplots, and everything they do at every point, and the movie would be about half the length AND much better. If you just keep Bryan Cranston, even better than that!)
That being said: GIANT MONSTER. CRUSHING CITIES. MAN IN A RUBBER SUIT SMASHING A CARDBOARD TOKYO. As long as you accept that things are happening because the script says so, and Godzilla and everyone else involved HAS READ the script and knows that's why they do whatever they do next, and just pretend that all the exposition is in unsubtitled Japanese or Urdu or any other language you don't speak so you can pretend that whatever explanation they give, it must have made at least some sense? This is a spectacularly pretty movie. With GIANT MONSTER FIGHT SCENES. CRUSHING CITIES.
And if that's what you're in for and how you're going to watch it, you won't be disappointed.
"Godzilla: It sucks, but you might not care. And if you don't care that it sucks, it's fun to watch."
I'll say that again: this movie makes way less sense than Pacific Rim. Not just a little less sense, but MUCH less sense.
(And, really, you could cut the main character and his entire family ENTIRELY, and all their subplots, and everything they do at every point, and the movie would be about half the length AND much better. If you just keep Bryan Cranston, even better than that!)
That being said: GIANT MONSTER. CRUSHING CITIES. MAN IN A RUBBER SUIT SMASHING A CARDBOARD TOKYO. As long as you accept that things are happening because the script says so, and Godzilla and everyone else involved HAS READ the script and knows that's why they do whatever they do next, and just pretend that all the exposition is in unsubtitled Japanese or Urdu or any other language you don't speak so you can pretend that whatever explanation they give, it must have made at least some sense? This is a spectacularly pretty movie. With GIANT MONSTER FIGHT SCENES. CRUSHING CITIES.
And if that's what you're in for and how you're going to watch it, you won't be disappointed.
"Godzilla: It sucks, but you might not care. And if you don't care that it sucks, it's fun to watch."