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"I wouldn't mind a nice compliment," you say. The heck you wouldn't, guys. Pretend a compliment on your looks is a cheeseburger. Who doesn't like a delicious cheeseburger? Dudes love cheeseburgers.

Now suppose that every time you asked for anything, all day long, you got a cheeseburger. Hey, good morning, sleepyhead, here's a cup of cheeseburger to wake you up. Lunchtime is a cheeseburger with a cheeseburger. Smoke break: Light up a cheeseburger. Get home and open that envelope from the Department of Motor Vehicles, and instead of your new license, they mailed you a cheeseburger. Looking for the remote? Have a cheeseburger.

Some of these are really inherently unappetizing cheeseburgers, too, by the way, cold school-lunch gristleburgers with unmelted cheese, but that barely even registers, because no one in years has even asked you if you want another fucking cheeseburger. You're a dude; you get cheeseburgers. Everybody give this dude a cheeseburger!

- Mansplainer explains to men why commenting on a woman's appearance is generally not a cool thing to do in a professional context.

Every Vancouver apartment ad ever.

"Second bedroom is actually a patio, and third bedroom is very small, tiled, and has a toilet and sink in it."

Next year, from Syfy.

Lobster in a bucket looks like a gigantic monster on a metallic planet

Meanwhile in Germany