(no subject)

[theweaselking]

Brad Hicks brings us quote of the day:

The Tangeans were, so far as anybody can tell, the first species in this galaxy to evolve intelligence. They explored the galaxy, and concluded that there was nothing interesting there and nobody to talk to. So they retreated to their homeworld and set about improving themselves, technologically and evolutionarily. They've improved themselves to the absolute peak of physical perfection, and to the theoretical limit of humanoid intelligence. They've developed their psychic powers beyond those any other species could imagine, to the point where even small children learn to phase themselves through solid matter as a routine part of growing up. And their technology is sufficiently perfected that they see no benefit to be had from tinkering with it further, since it meets every need they have unobtrusively, with no environmental impact, and with no possibility of break-down. They've spent the millennia since then dedicated to advancement in the arts. In the intervening many thousands of years, the rest of the galaxy developed sentience, made contact with each other, and (except for Zurg's tiny despotic empire) learned to live together in peace and harmony in a Galactic Federation ... without yet even meeting the Tangean's standards for sentience; they see all other species, however intelligent, as little better than monkeys. And not without cause.

But when somebody develops a weapon that stops Tangeans from being able to phase through solid matter, it becomes trivially easy to take the whole planet hostage, since their rooms stopped having actual doors thousands of years ago. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command swoops in to rescue them, because, frankly, this is the kind of thing he does. And he saves the day, with some help from a very young teenage Tangean, princess Mira Nova. His rescue rather disgusts the rest of the Tangeans, who didn't feel particularly severely inconvenienced by being captured and held hostage, and who remain convinced that given a little more time to think about it, they would have solved the problem themselves in a way that was more intelligent, harmonious, artistic, and civilized, and, frankly, with a lot less disgusting violence and random property damage than was caused by Buzz Whatever the Space Monkey,