Real, True Headlines!

[theweaselking]

"Confiscated monkey sent sexually explicit audio tapes by Plano owner"

I can't make this up (and, really, I'm not even sure I want to read the story. It can't possibly be as good as that headline.)

Comments

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

"(Rhesus Macaque Monkeys) will go straight for your face and tear into you. They have the strength of six men and inch-and-a-half incisors."

No, the article's 'bout that good. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

[anivair.livejournal.com]

I can find no documented evidence of this strength. Are they talking about six wussy men?

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

When I came across that line, I started looking for evidence that it was a parody site.

Unfortunately, I think our (elected?) Texas official actually said that.

Remember the Alamo!

[waterspyder.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what stuck out for me too...

I mean, they're a foot and a half tall and weigh like 15 or 20 lbs. They're also like the #1 research primate.

[jerril]

I'll believe the inch-and-a-half incisors. Or at any rate that doesn't really leap out at me as a really bad exaggeration - baboons have ridiculous fangs for omnivores.

It sounds like he might have been thinking vaguely about all the pop-culture beliefs on the strength of chimps or gorillas, and he doesn't really know the difference between a chimp/gorilla and a Macaque.