Damn! If I'd known about this site I wouldn't have torn up in anger the last psychotic letter I got - four pages long, all in capitals with lots of underlining, in which I was told how bad sex with me was, how they never wanted to meet any of my friends and def. wasn't going to let me meet any of theirs, and how they were still pining after the last woman who dumped them. Four years previously.
I once had a minor argument with a teacher during college, and I responded, "Well, you're off my buddy list!" The entire class laughed reacted. That friends list stuff is serious business!
However, if you want to pick fights, perpetrators of stalking, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence are overwhelmingly male. Studies of perpetrators show that many of them blame the victim for their criminal behavior and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
So, yes, women are more likely to encounter this behavior (if for no other reason than that we live in a society where men still initiate courtship, sex, and dating), and women are more likely to be adversely affected when things go south.
Because we all know that making snide remarks doesn't replace actual knowledge about a phenomenon.
Men seem so much dumber perhaps in part because they are less attuned to how it feels to be badgered by someone you don't like. Once this gay guy wouldn't stop approaching me and I felt like a feminist ever since.
I was just thinking of what the reception of that blog would be like if it had been a man rebuffing a "crazy" woman. Would you have said she was an arrogant, self-serving cunt? Many of whom turn out to throw pots and pans in an argument? Events which studies show are underreported (if for no other reason than that we live in a society where men are still expected to be "men" about things)?
The story was amusing, and I'm watching the blog now for want of future luls, and agree the Nice Guy™ schtick is getting old, but the response it got in the comments here and there is completely different from what it would have gotten if their roles were reversed.
Prickish behavior isn't less wrong if a woman is doing it. However, since you also followed the link, you know that women weren't the topic of the blog.
Intimate partner violence, rape, and stalking is underreported for both genders, not just for men. And if you're looking at financial and physical costs, to single out just two, women are significantly more likely to suffer adverse effects from any of those than men are.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 03:38 am (UTC)Not only are they arrogant, self-serving pricks, a good many of them turn out to have stalker/battering tendencies.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 03:42 am (UTC)Christ, what douchebag.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 03:46 am (UTC)Mind you, he still wanted to be friends...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 04:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 04:27 am (UTC)laughedreacted. That friends list stuff is serious business!(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 04:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 05:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 05:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 05:20 am (UTC)However, if you want to pick fights, perpetrators of stalking, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence are overwhelmingly male. Studies of perpetrators show that many of them blame the victim for their criminal behavior and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
So, yes, women are more likely to encounter this behavior (if for no other reason than that we live in a society where men still initiate courtship, sex, and dating), and women are more likely to be adversely affected when things go south.
Because we all know that making snide remarks doesn't replace actual knowledge about a phenomenon.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 05:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 05:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-03 08:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-04 08:10 pm (UTC)The story was amusing, and I'm watching the blog now for want of future luls, and agree the Nice Guy™ schtick is getting old, but the response it got in the comments here and there is completely different from what it would have gotten if their roles were reversed.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-04 08:15 pm (UTC)Prickish behavior isn't less wrong if a woman is doing it. However, since you also followed the link, you know that women weren't the topic of the blog.
Intimate partner violence, rape, and stalking is underreported for both genders, not just for men. And if you're looking at financial and physical costs, to single out just two, women are significantly more likely to suffer adverse effects from any of those than men are.