... a hot steaming mess... ... with the stench of sewage... ... it was sewage... ... it was the rotting sewage on a garbage scow... ... it screamed like the gulls hovering over that scow... ... it was the foul wind, which kept the gulls aloft, it's fetid bouquet uplifting their scythe-like wings away from the polluted water... ... it was the gulls, gathering on nauseating disease-bearing mushroom clouds of stink, spreading as an umbrella of putrescence over the cold polluted depths of the literary talent pool... ... trees died for that book to be made... ... and jesus killed a baby kitten...
Her breast being made of cheese is probably what made her face smell like the gibbous moon. Alternately the authors thesaurus vomited all over those pages and no-one bothered to clean it up, or even apologize.
I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.
- Mark Twain, Letter to D. W. Bowser, 20 March 1880
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 02:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 03:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 03:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 04:00 pm (UTC)And her ass made out of loaves of wheat, and her nipples were tasty morsels... I think he was hungry for lunch when he was writing this.
Seriously, man, pick *a* metaphor per body part and stick with it - don't be so greedy!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 04:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 04:21 pm (UTC)http://www.uoguelph.ca/~gbarron/MISCELLANEOUS/m.htm
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 04:52 pm (UTC)That's a whole new record for purple prose
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 05:01 pm (UTC)On the other hand - how is it possible that I didn't know about
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 05:09 pm (UTC)... a hot steaming mess...
... with the stench of sewage...
... it was sewage...
... it was the rotting sewage on a garbage scow...
... it screamed like the gulls hovering over that scow...
... it was the foul wind, which kept the gulls aloft, it's fetid bouquet uplifting their scythe-like wings away from the polluted water...
... it was the gulls, gathering on nauseating disease-bearing mushroom clouds of stink, spreading as an umbrella of putrescence over the cold polluted depths of the literary talent pool...
... trees died for that book to be made...
... and jesus killed a baby kitten...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 05:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 06:45 pm (UTC)Listen to the Man
Date: 2009-03-11 10:32 pm (UTC)- Mark Twain, Letter to D. W. Bowser, 20 March 1880
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 11:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-12 12:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-12 01:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-12 01:58 pm (UTC)