Real, True Headlines

[theweaselking]

Reasonable Consumer Would Know "Crunchberries" Are Not Real, Judge Rules.

Bonus points: Same Plaintiff laywers previously sued because Froot Loops did not contain real froot.

Comments

[mrbankies.livejournal.com]

Wow. Talk about weapons grade stupid.

[marlo.livejournal.com]

Dear plaintiffs: you are too stupid and/or greedy to be allowed to exist. Kindly die in a fire.

[chaosrah.livejournal.com]

You have got to be shitting me. This is why we need to let evolution run its course once more...

[jdarkwulf.livejournal.com]

Pah! Next, you're going to tell me that Fruity Pebbles contain neither fruit nor rocks!

[a-pawson.livejournal.com]

I love this part of the judgement.

it is simply impossible for Plaintiff to file an amended complaint stating a claim based upon these facts. The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen.

[lafinjack.livejournal.com]

And it only took her four years to notice.

[ben-raccoon.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. Professional litigators. The people for which Weird Al's "Sue" song is written.. because they actually live that life.

[sanityimpaired.livejournal.com]

What? No! I demand that those lying child victimizers gene-splice me up some real garden fresh crunch berries!

[gothpanda.livejournal.com]

They should be jailed for Wasting the Court's Time with Stupidity.

[marlo.livejournal.com]

YES! Arg.