(no subject)

[theweaselking]

"the AR-15 is kind of the gun-dweeb's version of Linux: All kinds of modifications can be made to it, but most of them make about as much sense as tying your dick to a roller skate."

Comments

[paradoxicmotion.livejournal.com]

Spoken like someone who's never tied his dick to a rollerskate.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

As a linux user, I find his metaphor apt.

[marlo.livejournal.com]

Made me think of this:

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

AMEN. Unfortunately, unlike Linux it costs an arm and a leg to do any of it. But I can see it:
It took you three days to get your AR-15 in the mail and they just sent you some partially drilled/milled blocks of aluminum, steel, plastics, and a book of specifications, but hey, it's free. If you get a finished AR from someone either for free or pay, you get one that looks almost right but either uses non-standard ammo (above), or breaks after firing 5 magazines of ammo through it. Either way, adding a scope may work, adding a foregrip may work, but adding both together causes your barrel to bend into a corkscrew for some reason and you will NEVER straighten it again.

You can find and get receivers, bolts, barrels and guards from other people, but they don't all fit together without some grinding, they may be only partially complete, and most of them are made to solve a problem you don't have. All the AR people on forums spend all their time comparing how many rounds they can fire over how long a period into how small a target (oh wait, that's already there) and the only way to get an answer out of them besides "rtfm noob" is to completely insult and belittle the AR as a weapon platform.

Oh yeah, and if you do it wrong, people can take your AR from you without a fight, somehow trick you into firing their ammo at targets they choose, or just break it for kicks.

And woe be to you if you say any other weapon is better.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Except for the "free" part, how is that even slightly different from Macs or, less for desktops but triple for servers, Windows?

[elffin.livejournal.com]

For Windows, all of the parts fit together all at the same time, and it comes that way by default but it then becomes too heavy for you to lift or aim. Removing parts is supported, but only if you pay an incredible amount of money, sign a NDA, are given an incomplete set of blueprints and an incomplete and misleading CAD/CAM vector file and no matter how hard you try, you can't figure out why it keeps sprouting legs, aiming, and firing itself autonomously.

All of the ammunition secretly contains nano-RFID tracker particles and the manufacturer and all other users are prepared to swear up, down, and sideways that the only way that nano-RFID could have gotten in the target is if YOU pulled the trigger. Judges will declare you guilty just so they can finally retire after two decades of trial.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Worse, you never actually loaded 3/4 of the bullets that came out of it.

[elffin.livejournal.com]

For Macs, it's incredibly slick and sexy, but every attachment costs money, and every ammunition round costs $.99 - you're only allowed to fire it at approved targets -- no women, no children, no nude people -- and if you swear while doing so, it shuts off automatically. You know that you put the ammunition in the clip, and that you pull the trigger, but even Penn & Teller can't figure out how the round gets from the chamber to the mouth of the barrel.

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

...and Cisco...

Windows would also have: You have to turn over your AR for an indeterminate amount of time each week for updates. Congratulations, you now have sub-MOA at 300 yards, but the rifle weighs 5 more pounds and may in fact explode if you're using a unapproved reflex sights. We installed the newest version of our sights, even though you don't use them, and now you can't take them off without voiding the user agreement which you agreed to when you picked up the weapon for the first time. Oh and it took five years, two of which we spent denying the problem, but we fixed that issue where the weapon exploded if you used it when it was too cold/hot/wet/dry/tuesday. Can't tell you how, though.

Mac rifles would be useful for shooting competition and trick/stunt shots, but up until recently only used their bolt/receiver assemblies or incredibly sub-standard belkin bolts. They also occasionally just stop working and show a little flashing picture of a bomb in the optics. Oh, and to change the bolt you have to completely disassemble the rifle using five tools and going through three warranty stickers (the iGun). The trigger acts as your trigger, safety, and magazine eject buttons depending on how long you hold it. All the hardware is done in soft curves and pastel colors, making it THE rifle to have in college and the Gap. European musicians have only recently found how useful they are on stage, but they're quickly becoming a staple of some shows.

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, and randomly (mostly Windows on this one) if you use your AR for sport hunting/clay shooting/food hunting, you slowly lose magazine capacity no matter what you do. It gets so bogged down and so hard to get that first round to come out of the barrel each morning that you have to melt it down and remake it every 6-18 months.

[faeriemuriel.livejournal.com]

Awww! I like the little pink one.

And they better be the Mathews family, or be a little creepy. Still a tiny bit creepy.

[lokidiscordia.livejournal.com]

well now i know what to get my wookie for life day!

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

That is a very very stupid gun

but it's still kinda awesome

[sanityimpaired.livejournal.com]

That didn't get my attention nearly as much as the:
1) Chainsaw bayonet that the guy damn near disembowels himself with in the video.
2) Fully automatic shotgun - that can be loaded with minigrenades. 8\
3) Knife that injects a basketball sized bubble of air into the target after you stab them. That's utterly terrifying.