I love Defense Tech.

[theweaselking]

"Instead of using guns and bombs, let's attack the enemies of freedom with bugs, rats, and horny gay men."

That seems to be the sentiment behind a 1994 Air Force proposal, unearthed by bioweapons-watchers at the Sunshine Project.

The document -- entitled "Harrassing, Annoying, and 'Bad Guy' Identifying Chemicals" -- strings together a couple of ideas for non-lethal agents that could mark an opponent, temporarily change his behavior, or "attract annoying creatures to an enemy position."

Were any of these proposals every approved? I doubt it. But, boy, do I love the idea of Pentagon program managers dreaming up ways to use "sex attractant chemicals for bugs" as weapons. Or employing a "'sting/attack me' chemical that causes bees to attack." Such an agent "would especially effective for infiltration routes," the paper observes.

"Rodents and larger animals would [also] be candidates to be drawn to enemy positions," according to the proposal. So would other "stinging and biting bugs."

But as irritating as a swarm of bees or rats might be, it's nothing compared to the distraction generated by a man in heat. No wonder, then, that the Air Force document calls for "chemicals that affect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely effected. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

If, for some reason, military scientists couldn't come up with an effective, sprayable Spanish Fly, well, there are still other possibilities to be explored. For instance: "a low toxicity compound" that creates "severe and lasting halitosis."