I am arachnophobic as hell, and it's still just goddamn adorable. (Also, the song of its people is apparently Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts, because that's what I'm listening to now and it's just about on perfect beat.)
I think spiders are pretty awesome creatures -- the very concept of the web, and its symmetry, just amazes me -- but the few spiders that are dangerously poisonous to humans just ruin the whole bunch.
I'm not afraid of them any more than I am, say, a bee, but I give them a respectful distance, and if there is one in my house, yes, I smoosh it.
All of which is to say: If a spider JUMPS, it automatically is declaring war on me, even though the only two spiders I know that jump are not particularly poisonous. Because a GOD DAMN SPIDER JUMPING ON ME is NOT COOL, man.
Jumping spiders are not only very agile; they are quite intelligent. Don't worry about the one jumping around your house; worry about when his comrades figure out how to throw a web around a weapon trigger.
I exist in an uneasy alliance with my spiders. I don't kill or harass them, and enforce only one rule: Do Not Touch The Humans, Or Crawl On The Things They Are Using. Spiders who violate the One Rule are swiftly exiled to the garden - for most of the year, this is like being "exiled" to a resort hotel with a 24-hour buffet. In winter, not so much. Sometimes I have a heart and just relocate them to the basement, where they can continue their endless hillbilly wars.
I had a spider rear up on it's back 4 legs & FUCKING HISS AT ME, once. I considered the action to be an open proclamation of intent to kill me, and began throwing literally every object I could get my grubby, terrified hands on at it, while backing away through the length of the house (clear out the door) and screaming as loudly as possible. Mein gott, THE FEAR. Holy shit. I just gave myself goosebumps remembering it.
My rule is: They don't come in my house, I don't go in theirs. This applies to all insects. I usually keep spiders around though, as if they're here it means there's something for them to eat. Sometimes I'll throw them into one of my plants. They won't hurt them, and they'll eat the bugs on them. Living in an apartment makes it harder to toss them outside.
I also like having some spiders around, since my theory is that every spider I do see is probably equivalent to about a hundred other bugs I will never have to see, and at least the spiders have the common sense to stay away from the big stompy thing.
Although, where I live we're restricted to basically two kinds of fairly mild-mannered indoor spiders; little yellow ones with boots that hunt and occasionally get into trouble, and larger dark ones with long legs and spiky knees that spin webs and sit quietly until they die and have to be swept up.
None of them have ever hissed at me, I think if that ever happened there would be an instant household-wide arachnid genocide. Maybe that's Rule Two: Do Not Be Scary, This Is Not Australia, We Do Not Have The Patience For That Sort Of Nonsense Here.
Yeah, where I live little things aren't a problem. We don't even have poisonous snakes. If it's not a badger, rabid raccoon, bear or moose, you're pretty much okay. I have never heard a spider hiss. That would be trippy.
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(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-03 11:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 12:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-10-04 02:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-10-04 06:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 06:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 07:25 am (UTC)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc
a classic.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 03:15 pm (UTC)I didn't know spiders could be cute. But he is! Look how cute he is!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 03:50 pm (UTC)I'm not afraid of them any more than I am, say, a bee, but I give them a respectful distance, and if there is one in my house, yes, I smoosh it.
All of which is to say: If a spider JUMPS, it automatically is declaring war on me, even though the only two spiders I know that jump are not particularly poisonous. Because a GOD DAMN SPIDER JUMPING ON ME is NOT COOL, man.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 06:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 07:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 08:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 08:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-04 10:02 pm (UTC)I exist in an uneasy alliance with my spiders. I don't kill or harass them, and enforce only one rule: Do Not Touch The Humans, Or Crawl On The Things They Are Using. Spiders who violate the One Rule are swiftly exiled to the garden - for most of the year, this is like being "exiled" to a resort hotel with a 24-hour buffet. In winter, not so much. Sometimes I have a heart and just relocate them to the basement, where they can continue their endless hillbilly wars.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 07:09 am (UTC)Genius!
Date: 2011-10-05 07:12 am (UTC)Except in my house, I do believe the punishment for violating the One Rule will be immediate death by smooshing.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 08:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 08:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 03:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 03:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 06:44 pm (UTC)Although, where I live we're restricted to basically two kinds of fairly mild-mannered indoor spiders; little yellow ones with boots that hunt and occasionally get into trouble, and larger dark ones with long legs and spiky knees that spin webs and sit quietly until they die and have to be swept up.
None of them have ever hissed at me, I think if that ever happened there would be an instant household-wide arachnid genocide. Maybe that's Rule Two: Do Not Be Scary, This Is Not Australia, We Do Not Have The Patience For That Sort Of Nonsense Here.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 08:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-05 08:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-07 05:19 pm (UTC)