We were actually using a silicone dildo as a toilet paper holder for a while, until the suction cup stopped working. It made for some interesting moments with guests.
For years, I used a large onyx penis (sent, inexplicably, by a friend who said it reminded him of me, and I have always hoped he meant that it sorta reminded him of himself in the state of when we were dating, not that he associated me with large stone penises) to hold flowers or incense. (And yes, I stuck the flower and incense stems exactly where you think I did.) People would walk around the thing and they would either fall down laughing or their eyes would glaze over and their mind would send them a message that said, "The penis you are looking at is not the penis you are looking at."
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