Top 11 Bill O'Reilly-based euphemisms for masturbation.

[theweaselking]

11. Sitting in for Bill O'Reilly.
10. Polishing my Peabody.
9. Taking pleasure in throttling Al Franken.
8. Factoring.
7. Undermining the marketing campaign for "The O'Reilly Factor For Kids."
6. Oscillating the "No Spin Zone."
5. Debating my favorite guest until he's spits in my face.
4. Playing a hand of "Who's looking out for Mrs. O'Reilly?"
3. Phoning my producer.
2. Exceeding the hypocrisy of other right-wing pundits.
1. Cutting-off the mic of a guest.