It's time for today's edition of "Who Said It?"

[theweaselking]

So, which American politician said these?

"They can't solve the budget because they have no balls,"
"Speaking out about your government is healthy and wholesome. ... Don't go along to get along."
"I dress like this to look like Jack Sparrow"
"Make all the love you want, just use a condom. ... If it feels good, do it; I did."
"I am a sexual tyrannosaurus. Just ask the First Lady."

And why isn't he President, again?