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[personal profile] theweaselking
Idiot from Alabama who wants to ban "gay books" has inadvertently written a law that bans everything that would "directly or indirectly, sanction, recognize, foster, or promote" oral sex between straight people.

Furthermore, any work in which a man convinces a woman to sleep with him through "any fraud or artifice" is off-limits, as is any book which mentions or depicts sodomy or nonconsensual sex. Anyone else thinking Lot, at this point? That's right, Alabama would be banning the Bible under this.

(It's worth noting that a man lying to a woman to sleep with her is illegal in Alabama, but the reverse is not true. Consent obtained through fraud is still consent, if you're a woman.)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryusen.livejournal.com
"(2) DEVIATE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. Any act of sexual gratification between persons not married to each other involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another."
wholy crap.... i broke the law in alabama, like 3 years ago... shoudl i turn myself in? laf .p

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
No, those laws are unconstitutional and cannot be enforced.

They are, however, stil on the books, in case the constitution ever changes, and thus that distinction can be used as the bases for Gerald Allen's attempts to ban the bible.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryusen.livejournal.com
heh.. i just found it funny that it happened to be int he one state that i commited any such acts in (well not counting Hawaii of course).

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] larabeaton.livejournal.com
So, if you're married than anal or oral sex is not deviant?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryusen.livejournal.com
i guess so...

(frozen) (no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bambamkam.livejournal.com
here's a thing about laws in alabama....
in alabama, there are some people in charge that don't want change SO MUCH that they leave things on the books that are obsolete, or shouldn't be on the books anyway. Our state constitution, when written out on standard paper, is THE SIZE OF A PHONE BOOK. there are constitutional amendments in there that should be city ordinances, and it hasn't been re-written in it's entirity since 1901. seriously. 104 years.
state legislators are voted in by people in their district, voters who, for all-intensive purpouses, ARE IDIOTS AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO VOTE OTHER THAN PUSHING RANDOM BUTTONS. seriously.

I love alabama, but this is what our underfunded, over bureaucratized educational system does to it's people. makes them not competent enought to vote.

this is how the stereotype arises: people like Mr. Allen are elected and clamor for the spotlight-- and those bastions of ignorance are made into the public face of our state.

BECAUSE of people like this, other american's forget that alabama has produced art and literature and medicines that most people consider some of the most important products of the human mind. forget that alabama has produced some of the greatest sports men (HANK ARRON, ET AL,) and women, greatest civil rights leaders (martin luther king, jr; helen keller; george washington carver, etc) forget that MOBILE (my home town) is the oldest settlement in north america, a major port and international city, the site of many revolutionary and civil war battles, and the inventor of mardi gras in the united states.

the average american forget's all the acommplishments and great minds of out state. becuase of a few idiots.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:26 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:29 pm (UTC)

I'm a Pervert Too

Date: 2005-05-03 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unnamed525.livejournal.com
I didn't say it was a bad thing, now, did I? Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?

Re: I'm a Pervert Too

Date: 2005-05-03 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryusen.livejournal.com
me? paranoid.. no way... i just don't want to crazy Alabamans to come drag me off ot jail .p

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unnamed525.livejournal.com
Is it Alabamans or Alabamites?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryusen.livejournal.com
Alabamans are the ones who woudl coem get me.. the Alamabamites are the ones who live under ground (or just their heads are) not quite sure...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unnamed525.livejournal.com
So what does that make Alabamians?

(frozen) (no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] larabeaton.livejournal.com
for all-intensive purpouses

*twitch*

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryusen.livejournal.com
i dunno.. Lynard Skynard?

(frozen) (no subject)

Date: 2005-05-03 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sivi-volk.livejournal.com
Funny, I had this feeling that the Viking settlements are older than Mobile, not to mention the Native settlements just this side of the land-bridge.

Clarify?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-04 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bambamkam.livejournal.com
clarification: oldest American settlement in RECORDED TIME (i.e. "history" not "pre-history")

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-04 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jsbowden.livejournal.com
You might want to check again, the first permanent European settlement in America is St. Augustine, FL, and before the Spaniards got here no one was writing down what happened in this half of the world.
From: [identity profile] bambamkam.livejournal.com
The spanish came to 3-mile bluff in 1501, and made a settlement there. (this is 18-miles north of where mobile is now,) 3 months after their arrival, a major hurricane hit, 3-mile bluff is prone to flooding followed by mesquitos that lay thier eggs in the still puddles left behind (and carry yellow-fever, a disease that is so contagious, even people who died of it 50 years ago still can give it to you.)

so after about 10 months of living on one of the WORST possible locations to settle on what they called the bay "de el spiritu sanctu" (of the holy spirt) they moved to somewhere not quite so exciting-- WHAT is currently known as St. Augustine, FL.

Some spanish, who were not so keen on traveling so far, went down to the Creek and Mauvillan (Mauvillian's are the name of the native tribe that the spanish named Mobile after--well, they named it "MAVILLA," and the french not being able to properly pronounce "mavilla" renamed it mobile when they took it over.) settlement on the 13-mile long barrier island which they named "isla de la masacre" (massacre island) because they found no more natives, only an extremely large pile of thier bones. (When the french took over they decided that they didn't find the name "massacre island" too appealing, they named it after they crown prince- known as a "Dauphine"- so they named it "isle du dauphine" we call it dauphine island (and pronouce it "dolphin")

Evidence of all these settlements in both physical evidence and historical records are still intact.

IN SHORT--- St. Augustine is the oldest CONTINUOUS SETTLEMENT- (meanting they didn't pack up after one measly class 4 hurricane and resultant flooding and yellow fever epidemic) MOBILE, AL, is the oldest european settlement.

we had to take classes on this. (my family lives in historic old mobile-downtown/midtown, and has a house on dauphine island (where we have appropitately named our beach - heel massacre (soooo many oyster shells) and often go to living history days at Ft. Gaines (the site of the battle of mobile bay - where admiral farragut said "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead, " however the local joke is "damn these mesquitos, full speed ahead") and a second home on Fowl river.
From: [identity profile] jsbowden.livejournal.com
Right, so all the Spaniards who weren't morons moved to Florida, and the ones that stayed behind founded the Alabama tradition of being willfully stupid that persists to this day.

Oh, and don't take that personally, I'm just making a cheap shot because I can. I've spent time in Huntsville due to the presence of Marshall and Redstone. I am well aware that there are a lot of people in AL who aren't idiots. I live in VA, we've got our own brand of highly visible idiots here too. See Pat Robertson and Jerry Fallwell as the prime examples.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-05-04 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unnamed525.livejournal.com
I think I'm going to use "Alabamites" anyway, just 'cause it kind of sounds like "Assamites".

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