(no subject)

[theweaselking]

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists:At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to
approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried
chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the
need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a
poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next
Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including: incandescent, fluorescent three way, long-life
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists:Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out,
you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your
choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?