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Jul. 29th, 2005 02:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theweaselkingHordes of Undead-Americans from District of Columbia-area cemeteries descended upon the nation's capital today to lobby Congress for equal protection under Federal laws which prohibit employers from engaging in discrimination during the hiring process.
"Under Federal law, it is illegal to discriminate, in regard to employment, against anyone because of their national origin, race, sex, sexual preference, religious preference, age or disability - but not because they have died and then returned from the grave. What kind of country protects those who are out of the closet, but does not protect those who are out of the casket?" complained Larry Wolnitz, an accountant who perished in a car crash in October 1978.
"I know I could do a good job, but nobody will hire me. Instead, prospective employers insult me with slurs such as 'zombie,' and claim that current Federal law doesn't mandate that they give consideration to those who escape the black sleep. I can't sue them, because under current law, I wouldn't have a rotted leg to stand on. That's why I and my fellow Undead-Americans need Congress to act on this issue. Congress, we are asking you, please, enact laws to end the practice of allowing employers to discriminate against those who grimly shuffle amongst you with no heart beating in their chest."
Wolnitz went on to state that many of his friends had not worked since the filming of Micheal Jackson's "Thriller" video in the spring of 1983.
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In a unanimous decision today the Supreme Court ruled that having prisoners of war re-enact scenes from the movie "Deliverance" is permissible under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.
Writing for the court, Justice Antonin Scalia noted that "the Geneva Convention encourages the use of amateur theatrical productions in order to provide entertainment for detainees. The terms of the Convention, however, are silent when it comes to the nature and content of the theatrical productions in question. Therefore, the court can find no compelling legal justification for denying detainees the right to be made to 'squeal like a pig,' as long as this is done in the context of artistic expression."
Civil libertarians and free speech advocates hailed the decision as the most significant court ruling since Marbury v. Madison. "I think that this will do wonders to restore American credibility in the Middle East and Third World nations like Sudan and France," said Lawrence Tribe, Leopold and Loeb Professor of Constitutional Law at Harvard University. "Allowing POWs to engage in sexually explicit dramatic productions goes a long way to ensuring that human rights are respected and that scenes like those seen in Abu Ghraib Prison in Iraq will only be repeated with good production values and strong directorial vision."
"Under Federal law, it is illegal to discriminate, in regard to employment, against anyone because of their national origin, race, sex, sexual preference, religious preference, age or disability - but not because they have died and then returned from the grave. What kind of country protects those who are out of the closet, but does not protect those who are out of the casket?" complained Larry Wolnitz, an accountant who perished in a car crash in October 1978.
"I know I could do a good job, but nobody will hire me. Instead, prospective employers insult me with slurs such as 'zombie,' and claim that current Federal law doesn't mandate that they give consideration to those who escape the black sleep. I can't sue them, because under current law, I wouldn't have a rotted leg to stand on. That's why I and my fellow Undead-Americans need Congress to act on this issue. Congress, we are asking you, please, enact laws to end the practice of allowing employers to discriminate against those who grimly shuffle amongst you with no heart beating in their chest."
Wolnitz went on to state that many of his friends had not worked since the filming of Micheal Jackson's "Thriller" video in the spring of 1983.
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In a unanimous decision today the Supreme Court ruled that having prisoners of war re-enact scenes from the movie "Deliverance" is permissible under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.
Writing for the court, Justice Antonin Scalia noted that "the Geneva Convention encourages the use of amateur theatrical productions in order to provide entertainment for detainees. The terms of the Convention, however, are silent when it comes to the nature and content of the theatrical productions in question. Therefore, the court can find no compelling legal justification for denying detainees the right to be made to 'squeal like a pig,' as long as this is done in the context of artistic expression."
Civil libertarians and free speech advocates hailed the decision as the most significant court ruling since Marbury v. Madison. "I think that this will do wonders to restore American credibility in the Middle East and Third World nations like Sudan and France," said Lawrence Tribe, Leopold and Loeb Professor of Constitutional Law at Harvard University. "Allowing POWs to engage in sexually explicit dramatic productions goes a long way to ensuring that human rights are respected and that scenes like those seen in Abu Ghraib Prison in Iraq will only be repeated with good production values and strong directorial vision."