New Deep Fried! Whooooo!

[theweaselking]

4 month hiatus. It's back. I are happy again.
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A new trend in the religious upbringing of children has recently emerged in the heart of the Bible Belt. "Home-churching," the individual, family-based worship of Jesus Christ, is steadily gaining in popularity, as more parents seek an alternative to what they consider the overly humanist content of organized worship.

Tucker said he was inspired to home-church when his 10-year-old son Macon returned from Sunday school singing a lighthearted song about Zacchaeus, a tax collector befriended by Christ, and then later recited the parable of the Good Samaritan.

"I couldn't believe that the liberal elite had infiltrated even the study of our Holy Scriptures," Tucker said. "It was bad enough that my youngsters were being taught evolution in public schools, but when I discovered they were learning to embrace foreigners and Big Government in Sunday school, I drew the line."

Home-churchers like Pottsville, AR's Othniel Beebe say that in an increasingly secularized world, "Home worship is the only safe worship."

"My kids don't have to understand everything in the Bible - I don't claim to," Beebe said. "But it ain't my place to question God's will. As long as my Caleb grows up understanding pestilence, sin, massacres, and to eternally fear the wrath of our Lord - and not this warm and fuzzy "universal brotherhood" crap - then I've done right by Jesus."

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On Tuesday, Halliburton received a $110 million no-bid government contract to pry the gold fillings from the mouths of deceased disaster victims in the New Orleans-Gulf Coast area. "We are proud to serve the government in this time of crisis by recovering valuable resources from the wreckage of this deadly storm," said David J. Lesar, Halliburton's president. "The gold we recover from the human rubble of Katrina can be used to make fighter-jet electronics, supercomputer chips, inflation-proof A-grade investments, and luxury yachting watches."

Comments

[cmseward.livejournal.com]

I really need to remember to check the links of any news story you post on Wednesday, *before* my WTF-meter goes through the roof.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

There are patterns to my madness. I don't put comics and news that offends me in the same post, for example.

But yeah. I love The Onion.

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

The one on home-churching is great, especially since there really is an ongoing trend away from organized churches in general, and toward something that might be described as (eugh) personal spirituality.

Not the first time that's happened—movements based on mysticism aren't uncommon in Christian history—but it gives the article that hint of credibility that makes one think it could be real.

[culfinriel.livejournal.com]

Considering the tone of that article, I don't think they were trying to represent anything like spirituality or mysticism. Except that I agree with you. It's a little too close to reality for comfort.

[cmseward.livejournal.com]

On the bright side, every Wednesday I do get to recalibrate said meter.

[culfinriel.livejournal.com]

I had the exact same reaction. Phew!