(no subject)

[theweaselking]

Assume you're the USSS. Would *you* trust this man if he climbed over the White House fence?

Also,
Trailer for X-Men 3

Also,
Utah professor loses weight and keeps it off with the "eat whatever you want whenever you want" diet.

Also,
Remember the 74 bands in one picture picture? Here's the complete list.

Also,


Also,

The happily married couple.

Also,
Ah, Philly. A 2-year-old boy was removed from his family and his mother could face charges after the child handed his daycare teacher two packets of crack cocaine, and a search of his jacket pocket turned up nine more, police said.

Also,
Documents from over twenty years ago reveal that Supreme Court Justice Nominee Samuel Alito once had an abortion.

"This could mean that Alito likes abortion, which would mean that I reverse my earlier statements about him," said New York Sen. Charles Schumer, drooling. "On the other hand, if it was an accidental abortion where he fell on top of a coat hanger or something like that, then he's still a dick and I hate him."

"Having to get an abortion because you were attracted to one too many rough tricks at a truck stop near my house is a painful, degrading experience that would definitely make you hate abortion forever," said Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska. "I would think."

"Alito got to do it, but he doesn't want anyone else to do it," said Republican Congressman Tom DeLay. "That sounds reasonable to me.

Republicans such as Bill Frist, however, have warned Democrats that if they even keep saying the word "filibuster", they will be killed.

As The Enduring Vision goes to press, rumors are swirling that another document will be revealed that uncovers Alito's secret past as a Mexican drug mule, which would only serve to further complicate matters.

"Wait, so does that mean he's for or against stricter immigration laws?" said Frist. "Jeez, this stuff is hard!"

Bush was questioned about Alito, but did not answer, instead choosing to sob softly.

If you're not reading The Buffalo Beast, you're occasionally missing out.

Comments

[jerril]

Regarding #1) while it's not fair to unshaven men anywhere, *this guy* looks totally helter-skelter.
2) I will watch it in my coffee break and squeee to myself.
3) Your summary is misleading. It's not "whenever you want" it's "whenever you're hungry". Unfortunately telling the difference between the two is really hard for many overweight people.
5) The grammar in that article is painful. The dog shifts between it and he, the plurality is inconsistant... and the owner should be shot for dying the dog because it had stains around its eyes. YOU DON'T RING HARSH CHEMICALS AROUND THE EYES OF A DOG WHOS EYES WEEP! BASTARD!
6) Manson/Warner ftw. He's just insanely nifty. Here's hoping this isn't a standard 6-mos hollywood wedding.