Wednesday is Darwin Speaks To Us Day!

[theweaselking]

Jenna Bush accidentally left her ID with her chinatown cocaine dealer, says the dealer. On tape. With the ID in question.

Also,
In the New Orleans Superdome, FEMA is paying for new carpets and furniture for the box seats, new phones, and new scoreboards - but they're not paying to move the power and air-conditioning systems above the water line so that they won't flood next time.

Also,
US Air Marshals to begin patrolling bus, train stations. Given their track record for shooting irrational, erratically behaving screamers, this may be the beginnings of the Republican solution to homelessness.

Also,
Reinhard Mueller says he's not a bigot and doesn't hate Jewish people. But ancient writings have declared him the Lion of the Tribe of Judah and left him in charge of their future, he says.

"I hold a spiritual office. With it comes my authority over the destiny of the Jewish people," Mueller told a jury Tuesday. As part of his role, he is not allowed to hate Jews, nor advocate their murder, he said. "But I have the right to chastise them. That is my right. It comes with the office I hold."

Also,

Animal Planet had a special on this weekend about the birth of Butterstick, the baby panda at the National Zoo. As many of you know, the big thing about giant pandas isn't just that they're adorable, it's that they're a very, very endangered species. Well, unlike elephants and other species who are hunted by poachers and devestated by the ever-approaching acts of humans, the Animal Planet special cast a light on the true reason giant pandas are actually endangered in this world: they are, in fact, the stupidest creatures on the face of the earth.

The whole thing is comedy gold.

Also,

Just sayin'.

Comments

[publius1.livejournal.com]

Like father, like daughter.

[harald387.livejournal.com]

It shot out like it was coming from a T-shirt cannon at a NASCAR race, bounced off the pen wall, and landed next to the mother, who in what at this point we can all agree can only be an absolute miracle of instinct, decided not to eat it.

Ow. Ow ow ow ow. Still laughing about this ten minutes later.

-K