Greatest 419 EVER.

[theweaselking]

Greetings and salutations! I am the Master, a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, and I come to you in the spirit of peace and mutual cooperation. I roam the universe in my TARDIS, attempting to bestow the benefits of my hyper-acute intellect on those in need, wherever they may be.

My latest attempts to outlast my natural regeneration cycle (so great is my urge to do good works!) have, unfortunately, destabilized my cellular structure to the point that my continued existence is in jeopardy. I fear that time may be short--a bitter irony indeed for one whose colossal mental abilities have often transcended time itself. I need your help.

In the spirit of benevolence, I have maintained charitable investments in many sectors of your galaxy across millions of years of history. However, my confinement to an Emergency Tissue Stasis Chamber prevents me from accessing the money that I have so carefully accumulated. The funds I have developed to save lives may now be the only hope of saving mine-- and I cannot reach them. Nor can I trust just anyone with the task of retrieving them! Operating psychically, I have carefully scanned your world through my neural amplifier and found only a few honest and reputable individuals--individuals such as you, dear human friend--with the honesty, integrity, and discretion to aid me in my moment of highest need. I have translated my psychic transmissions into an e-mail format for your ease of use.

It goes on.

Comments

[torrain.livejournal.com]

That wins.