Next, on America's Dumbest Criminals:

[theweaselking]

The woman said she was at the Tulsa Wal-Mart located near 81st Street and Lewis when she felt her toes being licked.

She assumed it was a dog but when she looked down, she saw it was a man lying under her vehicle.

Comments

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

Your apostrophe! Your apostrophe is running away! Quick!

(And on the subject matter, I'm somewhat non-charitably hoping that the rest of the news article involved the words "kick in the face...")

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

OK, on the one hand, I'll concede that you don't. I didn't see nuffink.

On the other hand, for some reason I seem to have an involuntary growl coming up from low in my throat. Any ideas why that might be?

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

You're crossreferencing toe-licking man with fake-dog-hand-licking-urban-legend man?

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

The who to the what now? (Do I even want to know?)

And that icon is disturbing, but then you probably already knew that.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

There's an urban legend about strangers licking people.

http://www.castleofspirits.com/humans.html

Combine that with urban legends about people waiting under cars in parking lots:

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/robbery/slasher.asp

And you get Mr Hides Under Your Car To Lick You, who appears in this news story.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Wow.

That's like the ankle-slashers hiding under the car and the crazed killer pretending to be the dog at once.

[desdenova.livejournal.com]

Reasons to avoid Wal-Mart, #607 in a series.