And now, how not to recruit.

[theweaselking]

For the record: Anything in square brackets, I have edited to protect both myself and the guilty. Nothing *in* square brackets was present in the original, and all square brackets indicate something removed from the original. All spelling and grammar errors, however, are as appeared in the original email communications.



Email #1 - Note that this was sent on the 19th, a Saturday.

From: [automailer on job website I used once in 2003]
Reply-To: [THEM]
To: [Weasel@king.ca]
Date: Aug 19, 2006 1:19 PM
Subject: MO07 - Ottawa Interview

Hi [My First Name]

We have reviewed your resume for our energy registration position and would like to invite you for an interview on Tuesday August 22nd at 10:30AM.

[their mailing address]
(Located in Intersection [road #1] Road and [road #2] Road)

Please confirm attendance by email. Please bring your resume.
English language and good communications skills necessary

Regards, rick

Website: [their website] Dress Code: Business Casual

Job Description:

- Professional atmosphere, excellent pay package and bonuses
- Registration of customers on natural gas and electricity programs
- Business to Business (Commercial)
- Door to Door registration (Residential)
- Management positions available

Please disregard this email if received in error. Duplication of invitations may occur if a candidate has multiple resumes on one or more job search related sites or as a result of computer error. We apologize for any inconvenience.


Email #2: Electric boogaloo!


From: [My Full Name] <[weasel@king.ca]> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: work@[Their Domain].ca
Date: Aug 19, 2006 1:32 PM
Subject: Re: MO07 - Ottawa Interview

Hello,

I will be unable to attend at that time, as I will be at work and this
is far too short notice to cancel.

Can you give me a detailed job description for the "energy
registration position", and we can see about arranging an alternate
time?

Regards,
[My Full Name]

Email #3: The Revenge!

From: [Their Name] <work@[their>
To: [My Full Name] <[weasel@king.ca]>
Date: Aug 21, 2006 11:24 AM
Subject: RE: MO07 - Ottawa Interview

Hi [My First Name],

We are the leading experts in energy sales and registration.
Have you been to our website www.[Their Domain].ca

Job Description:

- Professional atmosphere, excellent pay package and bonuses
- Registration of customers on natural gas and electricity programs
- Business to Business (Commercial)
- Door to Door registration (Residential)
- Management positions available


The interview process will determine eligibility for a position with our company.

I have another interview time, Wednesday, 23rd August 2006 @ 10:00 am.

Regards, David



Email #4: The next chapter!



From: [My Full Name] <[weasel@king.ca]> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: [Their Name] <work@[their>
Bcc: [A few people who might find it funny]
Date: Aug 21, 2006 12:33 PM
Subject: Re: MO07 - Ottawa Interview

On 8/21/06, [Their Name] <work@[their>wrote:
> Hi [My First Name],
>
> We are the leading experts in energy sales and registration.
> Have you been to our website www.[Their Domain].ca

I have been to your website. I did not find the answer to my question
there, which is why I returned your email to ask.

> Job Description:
>
> - Professional atmosphere, excellent pay package and bonuses
> - Registration of customers on natural gas and electricity programs
> - Business to Business (Commercial)
> - Door to Door registration (Residential)
> - Management positions available

This is the same description you sent before.

Could you please clarify what, exactly, this job would entail? Does
it, as it seems to imply, involve telemarketing and door-to-door
sales? And if so, why are you attempting to hire engineering
graduates to do it?

Since you're trying to hire for what appears to be a door-to-door
sales job, I have to ask what, exactly, you mean by and "excellent pay
package and bonuses". What range are we talking about? Is that in
comparison to other door-to-door sales jobs, or in comparison to my
current salary as a professional systems engineer?

> I have another interview time, Wednesday, 23rd August 2006 @ 10:00 am.
> Regards, David

Again, just as before, the notice is far too short for me to make time
in my schedule without an extremely good reason, and you still have
not explained to me what the job is, what you are offering, or why the
job might appeal to me.

This exchange has been entertaining, but unless you're willing to give
a real job description, which would include such things as "what the
job entails" "what the requirements for the position are", and maybe
even "what range of compensation is offered", I'll pass.

I would greatly enjoy hearing a more complete job description, and
arranging an interview at a mutually workable time.

Yours truly,
[My Full Name]

PS: Your office location has a few missing words in it - "Located in
Intersection [road#1] Road and [road #2] Road". You may wish to correct
this for future mailings to prospective employees.




Now, really, can you think of WORSE ways to try to hire a professional, or to come across as professionals yourselves?

Of course, they're not trying to hire professionals. They're trying to hire desperate kiddies who clean up well enough to go door-to-door and abuse the deregulation of energy in the province to the destriment of the consumer.

I'm hoping they don't think carefully enough, and email me back again.

Comments

[giza.livejournal.com]

> Now, really, can you think of WORSE ways to try to hire a professional, or
> to come across as professionals yourselves?

Sure. You could always spam your resume. (http://petemoss.com/spamflames/ShifmanIsAMoronSpammer.html) That page is complete with voicemail fun!

[torrain.livejournal.com]

> Sure. You could always spam your resume.

...oh, wow.

Just... wow.