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Stealing from fortysevenbteg

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For the benefit of aimisdirty.

Note: He doesn't need this information. He wishes more people would HAVE this information.

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Americans achieve "peace through massive incompetence" in Somalia.

As tyrell puts it:

Somalia has had constant warfare for about 15 years now. Clans and warlords have kept the violence going, rape is on a scale rarely seen anywhere and everybody has guns, except the innocent. This last part actually made the solution possible: the shopkeepers were so tired of having their goods stolen at gunpoint that they set up local Islamic courts to attempt to police things. This worked, but meant the people who were saving them were... the Taliban.

Well, we can't have that - Muslims are the enemy! So the US ('Black Hawk Down' in 1991 being the last time they'd dared go near the place) decided to do something. In this case, they decided to give hundreds of thousands of dollars (and some shiny new guns) to three of the biggest warlords in the area so they would go clear out the nasty Islamists.

There was just one problem with this otherwise brilliant plan. Everyone knew about the money. Within two months, every young man who could grab a gun descended on the Warlords' bases and chased them out of the country.

Somalians are, apparently, united by two things. They're Muslim, and they really hate meddling foreigners. A lot.

So, with the warlords gone and a system of Islamic courts in place, peace reigns for the first time since the early Nineties. Does this mean Somalia has been handed over to the Taliban? Well, no. They tried to stop people watching the World Cup last week, and that ended VERY quickly. Apparently, "No-one tells the Somalians what they can watch on tv."

Things you can make out of your old computer parts.

Click for more!

How To Write Screenplays Badly: On Followup Calls.

"That's not important. Let's focus on RAPEBEAR."

For the Danes:

From MS Word Danish Edition.



Also, "Attributes" has been translated directly into "attributter" instead of "egenskaber" some places.

(For those who are not Danish: "Avoid orphans" has been translated as "Protect against whore's babies". Also: "attributer" is old slang for "tits")

I don't speak Danish myself. I just link people who do.

Peace achieved between Israelis and Palestinians!

And how was this miracle accomplished? They've both agreed to a cease-fire on each other while they hunt down those dirty, dirty fags!

Homosexuals: Bringing world peace, one parade at a time.

Strange new application of Florida's "armed and dangerous" laws.

A gunfight broke out this morning in a federal prison here between federal agents and prison guards, as the agents tried to arrest six guards on charges that they traded alcohol and drugs for sex with female prisoners. When the shooting ended, two people were dead. One was a federal law enforcement agent, whose name has not been released, and the other was Ralph Hill, one of the six men who was to be arrested.

Prosecutors asserted in the indictment that the guards brought contraband into the prison, possibly including drugs and alcohol, "to sell and to use as payment in exchange for sexual conduct" from up to 15 female inmates, beginning as long ago as 2002.

The indictment also charges that the guards used the drugs and alcohol to buy the inmates' silence about all the ways that the guards were violating prison rules to get what they wanted, or they threatened to plant the contraband on them if the inmates did not cooperate with them.

Further, the indictment says, the guards persuaded or intimidated the inmates and their family members and associates to transmit money in payment for the drugs and alcohol via the mail, or wire transmissions or hand delivery. They also are accused of listening in on the inmates' telephone conversations, which is allowed by prison rules, and threatening to disclose details about conversations unless they cooperated with the guards. In addition, the court document states, the guards threatened some inmates into cooperating with them by saying they could have them shipped to another prison farther from their families. They did this by showing some of the inmates information about themselves on the prison computer system, the document says, "as proof that the inmates could be tracked anywhere" within the prison system.

=================================

The really sick part?

The six guards were indicted on Tuesday on charges of conspiracy to commit acts of bribery, witness tampering, mail fraud and interstate transportation in aid of racketeering. Those charges carry maximum sentences of 20 years in prison.

Do YOU see any rape charges there? Sexual assault? I don't, either. Apparently female prisoners who are coerced and threatened into having sex with the guards aren't ACTUALLY being raped. Maybe it's that new South Dakota Government "It's not rape unless the girl is a Christian virgin and there's sodomy involved" initiative again. Or, maybe, this being Florida, they just figure it's a standard Fundamentalist Marriage Proposal.

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I need a shirt.

"Innsmouth EMS likes to boast that they have never permanently lost a patient."

The Arkham Fire Department one is nice, too.

USB Nerf Missile Launcher.

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Snail!

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Uwe Boll challenges his critics to a boxing match - to which, all I really have to say is that Lance Storm has said some pretty mean things about Boll, and so probably qualifies to get in on this one.

(Sadly, Boll has placed some restrictions on the bout that would disqualify Storm as being too big. Still - when I'm in fighting shape I'm just under 190. aimisdirty - think we should take him up on this? You know you want to!)