theweaselking | Feb. 7th, 2007

Feb. 7th, 2007

New York lawmaker proposes making walking, chewing gum at the same time illegal, because it's too dangerously distracting.

Just when I think I'm getting pretty handy with Debian, they give me a malfunctioning Fedora machine and ask me to fix it.

Here's the thing: about once a week, maybe once every two weeks, the machine locks up. Hard. Responses slow (but "top" shows very low usage of memory and CPU, just like it always does), and then roughly 20 minutes later it just stops. You can reach a login prompt, but your session will hang forever as soon as you give it a password. If you were already logged in, your program will continue to run and throw output to the screen, and you can suspend it with CTRL-Z and resume it, or kill it with CTRL-C and get a command prompt, but any command you give at that prompt, even cd or pwd, results in the session hanging.

I don't know where to *start*, here. This has been happening for a while, since before I worked there, and nobody is sure when it started or what was changed. The log files don't appear to show anything unusual, but I'm not totally sure where I should be looking for all of them.

So, pop quiz: Fedora machine locks up suddenly and without warning, repeatedly, with no particular pattern to dates, times, or usage at the time. Where do *you* start troubleshooting?

I've heard that some of you are alarmed about Prince's display at the Superbowl. As well you should be. Your concerns are completly RATIONAL and JUSTIFIED.

I'm gonna confess something, Concerned Conservatives of America - that was no "wardrobe malfunction" or "guitar". That was his penis. Mine looks just like it. That's our secret. All Black men have THREE FOOT LONG DOUBLE PENISES. We use them to ensnare nice white girls at colleges we can't get into (without athletic scholarships or affirmative action). Once we get old, fat, and lazy (age 19) you'll find us scoping out the church picnics.

Now take a close look at THAT THREE FOOT LONG DOUBLE PENIS. The bottom one curves around, but it's the top one you should worry about. See that barb-looking thing on the end? Check it out - it's like a fishhook. Once we get that thing into your women, it gets stuck. Don't deny the EVIDENCE right before your eyes, that's how you lost the elections. You boys need to protect your trophy wives or we'll be taking pictures with them like they're bigmouth bass.

Now look. Despite my unemployed status, I'm far too lazy to chase women. Besides, I might trip over my BARBED, THREE FOOT LONG DOUBLE PENIS. Please, Concerned Conservatives, deliver your wives to the Travis County conjugal visit trailer on visiting day.

Thank you,