(no subject)

[theweaselking]

In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.

"From now on, the streets, forests, plains, and rivers of Kansas will be safe from the godless practice of evolution, and species will be able to procreate without deviating from God's intended design," said Bob Bethell, a member of the state House of Representatives. "This is about protecting the integrity of all creation."

The new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from any willful adaptation to changing environmental conditions. In addition, it strictly limits any activity that may result in enhanced health or survival beyond the current average lifespan of their particular species.

Although the full impact of the new law will likely not be felt for approximately 10 million years, most Kansans say they are relieved that the ban went into effect this week, claiming that evolution may have gone too far already.

"If Earth's species were meant to change over successive generations through physical modifications resulting from the adaptation to environmental challenges, then God would have given them the genetic predisposition to select mates and reproduce based on their favorable heritable traits and their ability to thrive under changing conditions so that these advantageous qualities would be passed down and eventually encoded into the DNA of each generation of offspring," Olathe public school teacher and creationist Joyce Eckhardt said. "It's just not natural."

Comments

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

What makes this slightly less funny is that after I read the first two paragraphs, I couldn't bring the mouse to hover over the link paragraph quickly enough, all the while begging "let it be The Onion... let it be The Onion..." before I could see the link. And whew.

Because, no, I really don't trust their grasp of scientific principles farther than I can throw it. (Try it---how far can you throw a feather?)

[cmseward.livejournal.com]

I'm getting better at this, it only took me until "outlawing evolution" to think "even Kansas can't be that dumb, this has to be The Onion".

[catlin.livejournal.com]

The state BOE is that dumb, but fortunatly, most of the voting public is not. The Majority of us are fairly middle of the road between liberal and concervative, and they know if they push us to hard, we all come out to vote. Did that Last time they voted out Evolution. Will do it this time too.

[peristaltor.livejournal.com]

And think of the money they'll save -- no more flu vaccinations!