SpiderMan 3.

[theweaselking]

This was two completely separate movies, joined together with blatant expository lumps[1], with far too many new characters who are just there because they were in the comic.

It really, really, really needed a script editor to get rid of any two of Gwen Stacy, Sandman, Venom, and the Green Goblin. (and since they ended 2 with the Goblin's return, they can't exacty cut him. So, any two of Stacy, Sandman, Venom.)

It then needed that same editor to slap the writer over the piss-poor rewrite of Harry Osborne. Seriously! It's really not hard to write Osborne - one part well-meaning wimp Peter Parker, one part homicidal megalomaniac Norman Osborne, douse in super-soldier serum that gives a new meaning to "roid rage", add jealousy and abandonment issues, shake, serve. How hard is that?

That being said, it had a lot of good scenes. It just insisted on surrounding them with utter DC-universe level idiocy. This was no Spiderman 2. It wasn't Spiderman 1. It wasn't even X-Men or The Punisher. It was better than X3 and Ghost Rider, though, even if that's damnig with faint praise. As superhero movies go, I'd say it's right around the Hulk/Daredevil/Superman Returns level, with pretty much the exact same flaws as those three.

(Bruce Campell stole the show again, like he did in the first two, though. Almost worth the whole price of admission, right there.)

[1]: "I'm a physicist not a biologist, but this looks like an alien symbiote that enhances the emotions of the host, especially aggression! And it will, of course, be very hard to remove! I know this because I've got a microscopic view of a cell from it *beating up the other cells and taking their lunch money*. No, really. That's actually what it's doing, right on camera."

Comments

[chizzer.livejournal.com]

In regards to [1]: I thought that whole explanation was a cop-out.

What bothered me most was the Jazz-bar scene a la The Mask, and the fact that "Badass Peter Parker" looked like a Good Charlotte fanboy.

That, and the interaction between Venom and Sandman was just... bizarre.

[mamomo.livejournal.com]

The Mask! Now I know what that scene reminded me of. Yes, that was terrible. All the evil emo Peter Parker stuff was.

[chizzer.livejournal.com]

Also,

http://ctrlaltdel-online.com/comics/20070505.jpg

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

Huh.

No wonder Mr. Darcy told me I wouldn't like it.

Is it can be POTC3 tiem now plees?

[kafziel.livejournal.com]

It has what Ebert calls an Idiot Plot. That is, the plot depends heavily on conflict that does not exist unless both characters are idiots. Why did Peter never mention Gwen Stacy, even in passing, even in a "Hey you know that girl I saved, turns out that's my lab partner, how weird is that" way? Why did MJ never mention she got fired, or that she got a new job? Why did Peter kiss Gwen at that parade? Why didn't MJ say "Hey, Harry's threatening me, he's right over there, go kick his ass" on the bridge? Because if they did that, they wouldn't be idiots, and so there wouldn't be conflict.

Also the randomness.
"Hey, Mr. Parker, you know that guy who you thought killed your uncle? Wasn't actually the killer. Was this other guy, Flint Marko. We've got witnesses. We've actually known this for several years, just didn't think it was worth telling you until he broke out of prison. I'm not entirely sure why we chose now, it's not like you're Spider-Man and will be able to avenge yourself upon him or anything. Eh. Guess I'm getting senile."

"Hey, Harry, you know how you've been devoting your life and all this energy to getting revenge on Spider-Man for killing your dad? Well, uh, he killed himself. Wasn't Spidey's fault. I've known this since it happened, and you apparently trust me when I say this, so ... guess I should have mentioned it sooner. Would have saved us all a lot of grief."

This is the Road House of superhero movies. It's shit, but it's such ridiculous, over-the-top shit that it's hilarious.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Isn't Ebert's term the "second-order idiot plot"?

But yeah. It really, really needed to be two different movies, with NO GODDAMN EXPOSITORY LUMPS.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Wait, no, you're right. "Second-order idiot plot" is a whole society that only functions because everyone in it is an idiot - like in Ayn Rand books.

[atlasimpure.livejournal.com]

/cut to news caster

"COULD THIS BE THE END OF SPIDERMAN?!"

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Keep your goddamn DC out of my Marvel. :)

[dreamshade.livejournal.com]

Why would they even call Parker into a police office to tell him that? Why is that need-to-know information?

When jokes that have nothing to do with the plot - Bruce as a Frenchman, JJJ's blood pressure - are more interesting than the parts surrounding it, you have a problem with your writing staff.

[mamomo.livejournal.com]

It's shit, but it's such ridiculous, over-the-top shit that it's hilarious.

TRU FAX. I laughed a lot during this movie but never at the parts where I was supposed to be laughing. Well, except for Bruce Campbell's cameo because, y'know, it's Bruce.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Maintain it wasn't a piss-poor rewrite.

It was a piss-poor *writing* of Harry, yeah. But the end result of the rewrite was good. Kind of like spice cake is a piss-poor stirfry.