(no subject)

[theweaselking]

Man is undergoing divorce. He threatens, for months, to set himself on fire.

One day, he goes to his front porch and douses himself in gasoline. His family dial 911.

The police taser him.

Hilarity ensues.

Comments

[sivi-volk.livejournal.com]

Fucking bright, people.

Admittedly, they may not have known he was covered in an accelerant, but really. I would think if they were close enough to pepper spray him first, they would've smelled the gasoline on him.

[argaive.livejournal.com]

"We don't know what ignited the fire," police said.

Right.

[mrbankies.livejournal.com]

Translation: We're trying to avoid getting our asses sued off.

[argaive.livejournal.com]

Another translation: We don't *officially* know what ignited the fire because the matter hasn't been *officially* investigated yet. Once the coroner makes his report, we will *officially* know what ignited the fire.

Kinda like when Michael Jackson said he was "innocent" when he was charged. He could say this truthfully under any circumstances at that time because legally the accused are always considered innocent until *proven* guilty.

A.

[wyatt1048.livejournal.com]

Alternative translation: 'Spark make fire? But... spark 'lecticity! Not fire!'