If you think this might be a personal attack on you, you also might just be stupid.

[theweaselking]

This apparently hasn't been posted recently enough.

For everyone:

Read.

Learn.

If you recognise yourself, grow the fuck up.

That is all.

Comments

[falconwarrior.livejournal.com]

Heh, I used to suffer from #4. And as such, I groaned at "that last paragraph."

[dolston.livejournal.com]

You will need to explain. Message, email or call me tomorrow. Maybe we can even do coffee.

[siouxsyn.livejournal.com]

Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call "Your Feelings, Your Problem". YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: "that's just Dana", and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go.

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

I think there's an inverse where some people are under the assumption "My Feelings = Your problem" Everything that is wrong in the world is the fault of others and the individual is allowed to take no personal responsibility in their own lives.

I think that these people should put their big person pants on and own up to the mistakes they make in their lives. Failure to do so leads to suffering on the part of others.

I used to be the asshole that yelled at people who acted this way. I've come to realize that ultimately they are the only ones capable of changing themselves and for me to be emotionally invested in their change is futile on my part.

True in other ways

[fengi.livejournal.com]

I first read this as "Five GREEK Social Fallacies" because boy howdy, the entire fraternity/sorority system is built on almost all these fallacies. Except Greeks don't see this as a problem.

Greek Social Fallacy #1: Belonging is essential.

GSF1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many Greeks had a formative experience with feeling part of the group, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them. Even if this sense came just before or after the ritualized humiliation that is hazing, which no sane person would consider worth whatever temporary bonding comes afterward.

In its non-pathological form, GSF1 is benign, and maybe commendable: most clubs and organizations involve a bit of false or artificial camraderie. It's just that Greeks take it to the extreme, involving coercion and demands of loyalty - to people usually haven't earned it at all - which typifies cults, not social groups. Plus they charge for the privelege.


Geek Social Fallacy #2: My Bros Accept Me As I Am

The origins of GSF2 are closely allied to the artifice of GSF1. After being put through the faux bonding ritual, most greeks experience their "tribe" as a non-judgmental haven where they can find acceptance no matter what the cruel world outside says - as long as they conform to type.

Geek Social Fallacy #3: Bros Before All

Valuing friendships is a fine and worthy thing. GSF3 takes it to an unhealthy extreme. It's also where the drive for conformity negates any freedom provided by the not-so unconditional acceptance in GSF2.

Greeks often sacrifice work, family, and romantic obligations at the altar of friendship. In the end, the carrier has a great circle of friends, but not a lot else to show for their life. This is one reason why so many greek circles include people whose sole redeeming quality is loyalty.

Greek Social Fallacy #4: Brotherhood Is Transitive

Every carrier of GSF4 has, at some point, said: "Wouldn't it be great to get all my groups of friends into one place for one big happy party?!" If you're a geek, you might eventually have accept this as unrealistic. If you're a greek, this is your life. GSF4 prevents the carrier from perceiving evidence to contradict it; a carrier will refuse to comprehend their friends don't much care for each other, largely because they are also not allowed to acknowledge it.

Greek Social Fallacy #5: Bros Do Everything Together

One might think this GSF5 involves barely suppressed homoeroticism, which might explain the occasionally hypersexual nature of greek life as compensating. Which is true.

Yet despite contempt for outsiders, especially those of another gender, sex and having a girl/boyfriend can provide a refuge from the relentless forced friendship with people who you may not know or care for beyond some half-assed pledge made freshman year. Thus while greeks often bemoan those who dare place some piece above the sacred bond, it's also a means of escape the claustrophobia of GSF5.

[chaosrah.livejournal.com]

this makes a lot of sense. but some parts of my brain said "hey, wait a minute, i don't know about that, I'm this way but I don't do that" at any rate, it makes me wonder, do non-geeks not suffer from these problems? because i didn't even think of myself as a total geek or anything.. i mean.. these all seem like normal emotional problems.. am i wrong? am i just not normal so i don't understand? *boggles*

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Heh. They're both common and pathological, in some groups of geeks.

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

It's not a mater of being normal or not normal. It's a matter of intensity.

[opaqueplanet.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of Mike from Something Positive.

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

GAWD.

I've experienced all of these. I'm thrilled that someone took the time to write them down.

[thathatedguy.livejournal.com]

I have to take issue with your "grow the fuck up" comment.
Social fallacies don't make someone a bad person; on the contrary, they usually spring from the purest motives.
I'm guilty of all of these to some extent. As I get older and wiser, I commit these transgressions less often.
So, I recognize myself in every example, but I won't grow the fuck up. I'll keep being human and keep trying to improve myself by recognizing when I may be making a decision based on these fallacies.
In other news, I have too much work to do to be debating the social interactions of geekdom, and damn you for distracting me!:)

[publius1.livejournal.com]

"Wouldn't it be great to get all my groups of friends into one place for one big happy party?!" Why yes, it would. And I have done so. And it was great. So fuck that guy.

'But, but... but they HATE eachother!'

[neobitch.livejournal.com]

Geek Social Fallacy #4, oh god.

I still wrestle with this one. I'll start to feel a moment of distress when Person A doesn't react excitedly to mention of Person B and then have to remind myself, quite pointedly, "My friends do NOT have to be friends with eachother." Etc etc.

At least there's progress, though. Up until about three years ago, I thought /everyone/ had circles of friends where all members were friendly with eachother. ;)