I, Legend.

Dec. 15th, 2007 07:42 pm
theweaselking: (Default)
[personal profile] theweaselking
If you are the kind of person who thought that Will Smith Versus The Robots was a good adaptation, you will probably enjoy Will Smith Versus The Vampire People.

If, however, you have ever read the book, or if the name "Richard Matheson" means *anything* to you, you should not see this movie. It is crap.

They were obviously *building* towards the book's ending. They foreshadowed it. They hinted at it. Events happened in the film that make absolutely no sense, except in the revealing light of the book's ending.

And then they cut the book's ending, entirely.

And so there's a good dozen WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT moments that simply don't make any sense at all, and a lame-assed, BORING ending in place of the classic.

Two thumbs way, way, way down. Minus five stars. Worse than Revenge Of The Sith.

(But if you go see it in Imax, you do get the first six minutes of The Dark Knight, on the giant screen)
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Date: 2007-12-16 01:37 am (UTC)
fearmeforiampink: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fearmeforiampink
I enjoyed Will Smith vs Robots. It wasn't very good, but it was fun to watch. The fact I was watching it on broadcast TV rather than DVD probably helped.

*bouncing in*

Date: 2007-12-16 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com
It had less shrieking plot holes than this movie, and did not portray its themes quite as well. Generally a serviceable and engaging action movie that kind of took a worst-case scenario out of Asimov's setting, ran madly away with it, and didn't have much to do with I, Robot beyond the Three Laws, the title, and some of the names.

(Also, it was reviewed by a lot of people who apparently either weren't paying attention or weren't familiar with the source material. I swear, I hear *one* more complaint about Susan Calvin seeming oddly cold and restrained...)

This movie, by the way, would not have had any shrieking plot holes that I can spot if they hadn't gone with what felt like an incredibly tacked-on ending that had nothing to do with the movie up until that point.

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Date: 2007-12-16 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
There was nothing really wrong with it, beyond the blatant product placements complete with name-check by the main character. It simply had nothing to do with any of the source material, in the slightest.

It turned into a Perfectly Acceptable Action movie. It was simply a completely miserable *adaptation* of "I, Robot".

Will Smith Versus The Vampire People, however, was a *terrible* movie wrapped around a miserable adaptation of "I Am Legend". And the most terrible part was that it fools you for the first 85% of the movie into thinking that it won't be crap, and then it steps forward and spends 15 minutes shiting all over the rest of the movie AND the audience.

And this ending, which sucks so much and offends the audience so much and ruins the whole rest of the movie?

It doesn't fit.

It doesn't make ANY sense.

It leaves *dozens* of massive logical holes in the script. It wastes a good 25 minutes of screen time that was used, previously in the film, to set up a *completely different ending*.

And it's boring.

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Date: 2007-12-16 01:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eididdy.livejournal.com
To cheer you up, I give you Cloned, Glow-in-the-Dark Kittens

No, seriously.

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Date: 2007-12-16 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
I linked it a few days ago. But they're neat.

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Date: 2007-12-16 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goblinpaladin.livejournal.com
Now, whether to agree with you or [livejournal.com profile] theferret... I think I shall compromise by reading the book, and then watching the first 2/3 of the film.

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Date: 2007-12-16 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
No, he pretty much agrees with me on everything, except that he thinks it was an "okay" movie with that ending, whereas I think it was a "terrible" movie with that ending.

And there's a secret to my movie rating system: Bad movies can be bad, but they'll never get the lowest possible ratings from me. The lowest ratings are reserved for movies that *could have been* great, and then fuck it up with sophomoric mistakes.

Like, say, *everything about the changed ending after foreshadowing the original one*.

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Date: 2007-12-16 04:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com
I really think you can watch the first 9/10ths of the movie, and skim the first three-quarters of the book. I've read it and I like it and the movie was pretty clearly made by someone familiar with it, but I do feel that the early chunks of the book are very much idea-driven and it's hard to get involved with the character.

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Date: 2007-12-16 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kindofstrange.livejournal.com
Yeah, the trailer alone was enough to tell me that this is nothing like the novella. It's a damn shame, as the story could have made a great, personal movie if done correctly.

But no, Hollywoodize it!

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Date: 2007-12-16 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com
The movie *was* very much like the novella, and was a great personal movie with lovely characterization and smashing acting and beautiful acknowledgment of theme. They swapped around some mechanical details, but really, the only important difference I saw from Matheson's writing is that Neville is actually somewhat likeable, rather than a tantrumy asshole. If it'd kept its tone through the last five minutes, I'd've been busy looking for a way to put a preorder on the DVD instead of howling with frustration.

And then they chopped off the end and had a ragged bleeding stump of a senseless Hollywood ending smarmed onto it and I could've wept with sheer frustration.

(I hear rumours that the ending was taked on sometime in the last month, and that two other endings were filmed. I really want to see those, just on the strength of the movie until they screwed it up at the very end.)

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Date: 2007-12-16 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anivair.livejournal.com
the problem, of course, is that the novella would have made a terribly boring movie. great novella. brilliant, but not a good movie. this, I hear, makes a good movie till the ending, at which point you realize that they should have made a movie "inspired by" the novella and just ignored the whole thing and made an ending that made sense.

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Date: 2007-12-16 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boixboi.livejournal.com
The Last Man on Earth is one of my favorite movies of all time.

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Date: 2007-12-16 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xrmndml.livejournal.com
I loved the book. I wanted to see the movie until now.

But I liked Revenge of the Sith.

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Date: 2007-12-16 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eididdy.livejournal.com
You liked Revenge of the Sith?

I'm sorry, but you don't exist to me anymore.

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Date: 2007-12-16 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pope-guilty.livejournal.com
Fuck Will Smith and fuck raping good books.

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Date: 2007-12-16 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lurkerwithout.livejournal.com
Am I supposed to pitch or catch in this sex with Will Smith scenario you speak of? And will I be getting paid? Also how much? Because the whole pitch vs. catch is very connected to size of fee...
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Date: 2007-12-16 07:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kafziel.livejournal.com
entirely off-topic: This seems like the sort of thing you'd have interest in. (http://www.news.com/8301-13578_3-9834495-38.html)

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Date: 2007-12-16 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
It is. Thanks!

I Am Sequel

Date: 2007-12-16 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eididdy.livejournal.com
Since I brought the fail on the kittens, I'll just keep up the fail.

The screenwriter has already pitched a sequel

Re: I Am Sequel

Date: 2007-12-16 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unknownpoltroon.livejournal.com
Sigh. A sequel. That completely blows even my plans to download adn watch this crapfest.

Re: I Am Sequel

Date: 2007-12-17 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elffin.livejournal.com
NO JUST NO FUCK NO

I will lose any respect I ever had for Messr. Smith should he sign on to said project.
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Date: 2007-12-18 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
I think your analogy is missing what Patch Adams is doing to the corpses of the passengers, but is otherwise correct.

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Date: 2007-12-19 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] atlasimpure.livejournal.com
That's a shame, the original script had it set in San Francisco and managed to hold onto the original intent of the story.

Have you seen the graphic novel adaptation?

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