"I forgot our anniversary once, and it drove my wife to sedition and usury."

[theweaselking]

ludickid has found the most awesome Wikipedia sentence ever:

"Because of marital problems, Bonnet turned to piracy in the summer of 1717."

I...what? How does that happen? What kind of "marital problems" could possibly cause you to become a pirate? Whether they're literal "marital problems" (you're a cheat, your wife is a domineering nag, you want kids but your spouse doesn't, etc.) or "marital problems" as code for sexual dysfunction (you can't get it up, your wife is frigid, you can't decide who wears the bunny suit, etc.), how does that possibly lead you to a life of high seas piracy? I have talked to a lot of people whose marriages were on the rocks or had already failed, and not one of them has ever said to me "Yeah, things just weren't working out for us, so naturally I became a pirate." That is a totally amazing sentence. Naturally it has no citation.