"I forgot our anniversary once, and it drove my wife to sedition and usury."

[theweaselking]

ludickid has found the most awesome Wikipedia sentence ever:

"Because of marital problems, Bonnet turned to piracy in the summer of 1717."

I...what? How does that happen? What kind of "marital problems" could possibly cause you to become a pirate? Whether they're literal "marital problems" (you're a cheat, your wife is a domineering nag, you want kids but your spouse doesn't, etc.) or "marital problems" as code for sexual dysfunction (you can't get it up, your wife is frigid, you can't decide who wears the bunny suit, etc.), how does that possibly lead you to a life of high seas piracy? I have talked to a lot of people whose marriages were on the rocks or had already failed, and not one of them has ever said to me "Yeah, things just weren't working out for us, so naturally I became a pirate." That is a totally amazing sentence. Naturally it has no citation.

Comments

[thette.livejournal.com]

An abusive spouse, and nowhere else to run? It's the only "marital problem" I can imagine leading to piracy.

[flemco.livejournal.com]

Oh, I turned to piracy before my divorce.

We separated due to a vast disagreement.

[phantoms-siren.livejournal.com]

Maybe not becoming a pirate is where everyone else is going wrong?

[wise-man.livejournal.com]

Perhaps Bonnet wasn't bringing in enough money to the family, and the arguments led to how to best raise money to support a family. Ask any criminal, and despite the intense amount of work required to commit major crimes and actually get away with it, they'll still say it's easier than holding a steady job. Go figure.

Of course, that's just my 2 cents of BS.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

I am thinking that perhaps someone misunderstood the term "martial problems"...?

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

You are not alone. *typo-readers represent*

[quotation.livejournal.com]

Obviously nobody has yet taken time to read the article.

This quote is from the summary at the top, and not from the meat below.

The actual article (that which follows the table of contents) contains not only an elaboration, but also two citations.

HTH, HAND.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

READING IS BORING

[quotation.livejournal.com]

Is not!

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

tl;dr.

[flemco.livejournal.com]

lawl

[wise-man.livejournal.com]

I merely find it more fun to speculate.

[singingnettle.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I think I might have to adopt that, so the next time I have a fight with my husband, I can accuse him of driving me to contemplate piracy.