Wherein I take another's post wholesale because I have nothing to add.

[theweaselking]

Quoth kadath:

Vatican rolls out new line of sins for 2008.
VATICAN CITY -- Today the Vatican announced the creation of an updated list of sins, in an effort to overhaul the Roman Catholic Church's stodgy image. Called "Sin21," the new line includes such offenses as genetic manipulation and drug use.

"We're very excited about Sin21," said Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican's Assistant Director of Sins and Penance, at a press conference Monday. "Traditionally, the Church has been slower to respond to social change than we would have liked. Going forward, we intend to proactively adjust our strategy to best respond to market demands. Sin21 is a vital part of this initiative."

Sin21 combines the Church's historic anti-science bent with a renewed emphasis on social justice, both long touted by Vatican officials as two of Catholicism's core competencies. "Leveraging people's fear of change has been a winner for us in the past," the Archbishop said, "but we are also emphasizing our commitment to less sensational but strongly-performing portions of our sin portfolio: social injustice and pollution." Pollution was previously called "poor stewardship." The name change is part of the reorganization accompanying Sin21.

In keeping with this commitment, the Vatican plans to launch B-Attitude and Stewards Hip, centered on social justice and environmentalism, respectively, as additions to the Sin21 line. Rollout of the expanded program is anticipated no later than Quarter 3.

For the last half-century, Catholicism has been unsuccessfully battling a perception of being out of touch and irrelevant to the vital 18-34 youth demographic. In the late 90s, the stock price hit a record low, down from historic highs in the 12th century.

"I think this is a good course for the Vatican to take," said Constantine Aquinas, an analyst with Eternal Futures, LLC. "But they can't let themselves get complacent. Catholicism has a strong market share, but younger, faster competitors like Evangelical Protestantism are in a better position to leverage the Church's traditional staples of 'hate' and 'repression.'

"The Vatican needs to follow up Sin21 with a rebranding effort, to differentiate themselves from their Abrahamic competitors. They could win with a twin strategy of emphasizing their millennia of experience while embracing superficial changes to internal culture to appear progressive," Aquinas said. "Look at how well it worked for IBM."

News of Sin21 caused shares of the Church (RCC) to close at $17.14, up almost 50% from $11.66, amidst heavy trading.

She said it, not me.

Comments

[pyroofone.livejournal.com]

If I'm ever running a character who opens a club, The name will be Sin21. Thank you the Vatican.

[sivi-volk.livejournal.com]

Minotgods, I got to ""Leveraging people's fear of change has been a winner for us in the past,"" before being sure it was parody.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

Some people thought the whole article was real. ^_^

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I saw. The dude thinking that "CTV must be, like a fake news site, or they got scammed" was funny. He figured it out in a hurry, but man, that was good. And he had a sense of humour about it. I like him.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

Zoner's cool.

I'm not sure whether I'm flattered or insulted he thought the parody was so realistic I didn't write it, though I was ambiguous about the source article on purpose.

Yeah, I edited this comment hours after I made it, since I came back and realized I'd missed a rather crucial word.

[opaqueplanet.livejournal.com]

"B-Attitude" and "Stewards Hip" are so stodgily hip-to-the-jive I totally believed they came from a Vatican youth initiative. I think the only way kadath could possibly have come up with these was if she'd personally experienced 60-year-old CWL ladies telling her and the kids how relevant and hip the Church is.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

CCD, baby. It's like a little Church-sponsored atheist factory.

[mcpino.livejournal.com]

[dreamshade.livejournal.com]

The running gag on my other forum is that this is actually just a patch to the last seven sins. It's now, like, Sins 1.4.0. Many people have suggested dropping their subscription to the game entirely after the recent nerfs to Envy and Lust. Some have suggested trying out Islam, which has a very hardcore RP server.

[cleodhna.livejournal.com]

pfffffffffWHEEHAHAHA! Hee. Whoo. Thank you. I needed that.