(no subject)

[theweaselking]

At the center of a growing controversy, the Bush administration has admitted that it employed human cloning to create an untold number of genetically enhanced super soldiers. Developed under strict secrecy in the tool shed behind Dick Cheney's undisclosed location, the program was exposed when reporters noticed clusters of identical servicemen padding the crowd of a recent Bush campaign rally. Apparently, not enough regular soldiers had been willing to sign the loyalty oath required of all attendees.

Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry reacted forcefully to the shocking revelations. "I was an altar boy, so personally I'm against playing God and using genetic technology to create an unholy race of soulless killing machines," said Kerry. "But in a pluralistic democracy, that's not a belief I can force on others. I support the president's authority to create lab-spawned robo-soldiers to hunt down and kill terrorists. But using human cloning to bolster attendance at campaign events should always be a last resort."