Light Snowfall Signals End of Civilization in Southeast

[theweaselking]

Francesco Explains It All:

FORMER STATE OF GEORGIA—A light snowfall gently dusted the Southeast, delighting children but reversing 10,000 years of human civilization in the process.

Armed only with a single snowplow, a can of Morton Salt and a "can-do" spirit, cities from the Carolinas to Alabama were quickly overwhelmed by the oddly crystallized shapes falling mercilessly from the heavens. Minutes after the initial flakes appeared, 23,000 cars, trucks and trains collided on I-20. By 7:00 AM, unattended automobiles had begun to simply explode on driveways and in parking lots throughout Tennessee. In Atlanta hundreds of planes were first delayed, then grounded and then eventually consumed for nourishment. Within two hours oxen and other beasts of burden were demanding hefty prices—or pelts—as they were now the sole means of transportation for commuters and scavengers alike.

It gets better.

Comments

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Probably the first time "Georgia" and "civilization" have been put together in a sentence.

[moosl.livejournal.com]

My favorite is "... and the occasional can of corn."

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

There are portions of Southern California that react that way, too...

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

YES... (And the few times the Grapevine has gotten snow?!?!?! Oh... the HORRORS!)

[jagash.livejournal.com]

Not to mention the additional demand on oxen supplies for sacrifice to appease the mad snow gods.

[lordbleys.livejournal.com]

Presently the wife and I live in Georgia (so she can finish her graduate degree), we're from Boston originaly. And yes, flakes shut the state down in a panic

We laugh madly at the locals. Even without snow.