(no subject)

[theweaselking]

The thing you have to remember about [Warren] Jeffs is not just that he is a Mormon, but that he is the One True Living Prophet Of All Mormons - he is the one single person on earth that God has chosen from His throne on Planet Kolob to be His direct and personal representative.

And thus, everything Warren Jeffs does and says is the direct real and true will of the one true God, and failing to record every minute of every day of his life is exactly like failing to record one of Jesus' sermons: Unforgivable, if you could avoid it.

So OF COURSE he recorded his "intructions" to his "wives". The Book Of Warren would be incomplete without those!

("For as it says in the Tao of Shin-sei, 'hey, stop following me, this is the toilet. What, are you writing this down? You sick perverts!'")

Comments

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

When your magical planet sounds suspiciously like "Bollocks" spelled backwards, maybe you should consider whether God is trolling you.

Not like it's the first time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binding_of_Isaac), either.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

"Nearly made you murder your son LOL!"

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

"If you wear poly/cotton blends you will go to hell DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS"

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

I remember a short story thing a comedian wrote about Abraham, which had God saying something along the lines of, "What, you thought I was serious? Just because someone says something in a deep voice, you think you have to do it?"

Only, it was a lot funnier than my paraphrasing. I'll have to see if I can find that thing.

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

Woody Allen (http://storiesforspeakers.blogspot.com/2009/07/woody-allen-on-abraham-and-knowing.html).

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

Yep, that was it.

[lafinjack.livejournal.com]

GIVE HUMANS FORESKINS

COMMAND JEWS TO CUT THEM OFF