Real, True Headlines

[theweaselking]

Oklahoma Republican demands ban on human fetuses in food.

No, really.

Quoth the FDA, "the FDA is not aware of this particular concern."

Other proposed bills from this Senator include one that would allow him to carry a gun into legislative sessions, one that would require police to seize the homes and vehicles of immigrants, and one repealing the 14th Amendment (in Oklahoma only. Because it would be a STATE law. And repealing parts of the US Constitution is totally something a state government can do, he apparently thinks.)

Comments

[tisiphone.livejournal.com]

As I have said elsewhere, I plan to introduce a bill in the next legislative session to force Oklahoma to change its name to Lolklahoma. And I will get elected to do it.

[swwoodsy.livejournal.com]

I'd vote for you. Is it a problem if I am registered to vote in Texas?

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

Kind of ironic that the entire point of the 14th Amendment was to limit the power of state governments.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, hence why it is a BAD amendment that is preventing the true perfection of Oklatopia from coming into being.

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

Ah, of course. My mistake.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

His real mistake, of course, was failing to insert language into the bill forbidding the US Supreme Court from hearing cases challenging it. After all, if they arne't legally allowed to hear the cases, they can't hold the bill unconstitutional and that way Holy Oklatopia can be born unimpeded.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

Well hell yeah. They fought a war to preserve states rights. Who cares if they lost it?

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Obligatory: They weren't interested in ALL rights, or even most of them. In fact, the only right the Slaver's Treason participants actually cared about was the right of states to make slavery legal.

Not even "the right of states to determine whether or not slavery was legal" - or else they've have been against the Fugitive Slave Act, and, well, they weren't.

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

One question, Senator; under this proposed law what is the maximum amount of slurried Republican I can put in my hog feed?

-- Steve may have to pace out his, er, "political activities" a bit depending upon the answer.

[the-dense.livejournal.com]

what worries me is, there's a lot of meat processing in oklahoma. maybe this guy knows something we don't..?

[sophia8.livejournal.com]

So he read on the internet that some company may be using embryonic stem cells in food research and "embryonic" means fetueses and "fetuses" means human babies and OMG THEY'RE PUTTING DEAD HUMAN BABIES INTO OUR FOOD!!! It wuz on teh internetz so it must be true!!! Won't somebody think of the children!!??!!

[darquis.livejournal.com]

Silly Senator, Soylent Green is OLD people.

[secretagentmoof]

I'm debating whether I should have my domain, babymeat.com, go black in protest.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

Man. Now I wish this was facebook and I could hit a like button.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I hate "like" and "+1" is just annoying, and then suddenly you're all WAIT THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO EXPRESS.

[secretagentmoof]

I gave in and spent the five minutes to do it, so and here it is. (Incidentally, the state senator really did file the bill.)

[lafinjack.livejournal.com]

Apparently placenta recipes are still OK.

[iblis-kukl.livejournal.com]