I haven't shared this one with you, yet.
Jul. 9th, 2004 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theweaselkingJeff Vogel's child is the most amusing infant on the planet. It's true.
On the evening of January 18th, at around 8 PM, my first child, Cordelia Krizsan Vogel, entered the world. She came out of Mariann, my wife. She got her mother’s facial shape, her father’s irritability, and her mother’s genitalia. The event was the joyous conclusion to 15 hours of labor. This is not as horrible as it sounds, because, as it turns out, epidurals RULE.
(For the uninitiated, when you get an epidural, what happens is that a nice person enters the room, sticks a needle into your spine, starts a steady flow of anaesthetic into it, and leaves it there. For hours and hours. It is a good measure of how horrifying childbirth is that, when it is taking place, leaving needles in your spine sounds like a great option.)
Please do not pick a fight with me over the joys of natural childbirth. Unless, of course, you want me to explain at great length how I plan to have my wisdom teeth taken out without anesthesia, so that the intrusive evils of western medicine don't get between me and the purity and joy of my dental care.
After Cordelia came out, I went over to where they were cleaning off the slime and moist unpleasantness so I could get a good look at her. The nurse said "Say something to her." The first words she will ever hear from her father. The words that begin the journey, where I help her develop from a helpless primate into a productive member of society. But no pressure.
Being groggy and about 8 seconds into my first experience with newborns, I said the first thing which came into my mind: "Hello, Cordelia. Welcome to the world. It’s not going to get much better."
The nurses did not approve. I don't feel too bad about it though because
i. I stand by my statement, and
ii. As far as I know, my daughter does not yet speak English.
On the evening of January 18th, at around 8 PM, my first child, Cordelia Krizsan Vogel, entered the world. She came out of Mariann, my wife. She got her mother’s facial shape, her father’s irritability, and her mother’s genitalia. The event was the joyous conclusion to 15 hours of labor. This is not as horrible as it sounds, because, as it turns out, epidurals RULE.
(For the uninitiated, when you get an epidural, what happens is that a nice person enters the room, sticks a needle into your spine, starts a steady flow of anaesthetic into it, and leaves it there. For hours and hours. It is a good measure of how horrifying childbirth is that, when it is taking place, leaving needles in your spine sounds like a great option.)
Please do not pick a fight with me over the joys of natural childbirth. Unless, of course, you want me to explain at great length how I plan to have my wisdom teeth taken out without anesthesia, so that the intrusive evils of western medicine don't get between me and the purity and joy of my dental care.
After Cordelia came out, I went over to where they were cleaning off the slime and moist unpleasantness so I could get a good look at her. The nurse said "Say something to her." The first words she will ever hear from her father. The words that begin the journey, where I help her develop from a helpless primate into a productive member of society. But no pressure.
Being groggy and about 8 seconds into my first experience with newborns, I said the first thing which came into my mind: "Hello, Cordelia. Welcome to the world. It’s not going to get much better."
The nurses did not approve. I don't feel too bad about it though because
i. I stand by my statement, and
ii. As far as I know, my daughter does not yet speak English.
Hee.
Date: 2004-07-09 10:24 am (UTC)And yes, he's like this in person, too.
Re: Hee.
Date: 2004-07-09 10:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-09 01:21 pm (UTC)My daughter was talking in complete sentences at 3 months old.
My son took a little longer to make reasonable words, he wasn't understandable until 7 months.