Headlines RIPPED from the pages of pulp journalism!

[theweaselking]

THEY LOST MY FATHER'S GRAVE

also,
When I fell out of the plane, thought I was a goner - then I fell BACK INTO the plane!

also.
Terrible devil-children arrested for MURDER

also,
Shuttle's panties in a bunch, threatens to EXPLODE!

also,
Germans warning about powdered alchohol claim that "4.8 percent by volume is the equivalent of one to one-and-a-half glasses of liquor." - meaning GERMANS DRINK WIMPY DRINKS