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How To Make Communion Wafers Taste Better: A study in condimentation.

Also,
Worst Analogies Ever

Also,
FEMA: They'll pay you back if you can afford all the expenses out of pocket yourself, but if you don't have the money to begin with, fuck you. You're poor.
A FEMA program to reimburse applicants for generators and storm cleanup items has benefited middle- and upper-income Floridians the most and has so far cost taxpayers more than $332 million for the past two hurricane seasons, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel found in a continuing investigation of disaster aid.

By agreement with the state, which pays 25 percent of the cost, FEMA reimburses for generators, chain saws, dehumidifiers, air purifiers, and wet-dry vacuums purchased for home use after a disaster.

For the four Florida hurricanes in 2004, the reimbursements amounted to $242 million. Eighty percent of the money went to applicants in middle- and upper-income areas.

"It's absolutely disgusting," said David Bronstein, an insurance fraud lawyer in Plantation. Bronstein put in a claim for a generator he bought when his Davie home lost electricity from Wilma. He said he "makes six figures" and could ''certainly afford my own." Bronstein was surprised that he qualified but more surprised when his government check arrived for $836, the maximum amount. He paid $562, including tax.

When Wilma knocked out power to Debbie Springston's Fort Lauderdale home, she begged FEMA for a generator for her son Marcus, 18, who was born with heart and kidney ailments. "FEMA said, 'Go buy a generator' and they'll reimburse us for it, but we didn't have money," she said. Marcus uses catheters several times a day to remove bodily wastes. With no electricity, he performed the task using light from a battery-operated lamp and, when that failed, some small candles. After a week, the family moved to a motel paid for by their homeowner's insurance.

Also,

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com
...guh?

But...

Okay, even *I* know that makes no sense. What the hell are they doing, living in some fluffy never-never land where everyone has a credit card or a relative who'll suck up your bills for you, and only bad people can't afford to buy things on credit?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
It's run by Republicans.

If you're poor, it's because you're MORALLY INFERIOR. If you don't have a credit rating, it's because you're LAZY. If your 5-year-old kid breaks his leg, your insurance doesn't cover it, and you have to go on one meal a day for a few months to be able to afford basic care that won't leave him crippled for life? You deserve it, for chosing to be poor. You got fired because they needed to increase the CEO's salary again and poor people in Bangalore will do your job in hellish conditions with no oversight laws for $0.02 per day, and be thankful? That's your fault. You *could* have been a billionaire business pirate, too, if you'd just worked a little harder.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com
The next time I hear someone insisting that capitalism--capitalism alone, not "capitalism and some basic iota of consideration for your fellow human beings", not "capitalism tempered with a minimal dose of compassion"--has an inherent moral dimension that restricts behaviour according to anything other than direct personal profit, I'm going to borrow your boxing gloves and find a chunk of furnishing somewhere that needs to be severely beaten.

Just so you know.

(I should probably do it anyway, though. It might be a decent workout, and it's not like I should have to wait for someone to be a fucking moron within earshot to get around to that.)

(Did I mention I ran into one of the other students from the Thai Boxing Academy when I was out present-shopping yesterday?)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 02:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jsbowden.livejournal.com
It's funny, people down here talk about the free market, but we don't don't have a free market economy. It's never been completely open. It's always been a regulated market, and when the regulations are minimal, people remember why we put them there to begin with.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com
It's a sad sad state of affairs when Adam Smith's invisible hand is not there to care for the people.

I honestly expect most of the people singing the praises of the free market would change their tune if it bit them on the ass[1]; meantime, I just get annoyed when I get to hear them.
---
[1] The alternatives being to take it as an indication of personal moral failure or ignore it completely.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anivair.livejournal.com
Don't know if you saw this yet, but check out slashdot's article re: the kansas professor who was supposed ot teach the class about creationism as mythology. he's been sacked. makes me sad.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
Last I heard, he'd stepped down as head of the religious studies department, not been fired from the university itself.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anivair.livejournal.com
I could have sworn that hte article said he "quit" but I could be wrong. Either way, according to slashdot, the class has been canceled, which makes me sad.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
The class was cancelled before that.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anivair.livejournal.com
was it canceled due to the "anti-christian statments" he supposedly made? Or some other reason?

I wish I had a copy of the letter he sent out containing those statments. it'd be interesting to see what passes for anti-christian in kansas.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
The statements. He referred to IDiots as "fundies" and said his course would be great because it's a slap in their "fat, stupid faces"

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anivair.livejournal.com
Well . . . that was a touch over the top, wasn't it? It's sad that he couldn't keep that to himself.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ursulav.livejournal.com
Undoubtedly I'm just a bad writer, but I'd totally use some of those.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silmaril.livejournal.com
Well, actually the third down the list " The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. " tells me that its author has been reading Douglas Adams, and at that age it's completely natural to be inspired in your writing by what you've read that way. On the other hand, it also tells me whoever submitted that for the list hadn't read Douglas Adams, nor did the jury get the joke.

Oh well.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
I thought a couple of them were sheer brilliance. "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever"? GENIUS!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silmaril.livejournal.com
Yes, definitely. Ironic genius, even.

I'm more convinced that the submitters and the jury didn't get half of those.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silmaril.livejournal.com
And now that I've read the rest, some do have a lovely Neal Stephensonesque quality, actually ("He just wrote *what*?"). I cringed at only a few.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 06:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leighdb.livejournal.com
Um, I've seen that analogies list before, and it's not from high school essays, it's a list of the winners in a "Worst Analogy" contest. They're deliberately bad. Which kind of puts the list in a whole different light, no?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theweaselking.livejournal.com
If by "bad" you mean "awesome".

And no.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-12 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leighdb.livejournal.com
If by "bad" you mean "awesome".

I did, actually. But on purpose, is all I'm saying.

The "high school essay" title implies that the writers were not aware of how hilariously awful the analogies were, but that's not the case. Which makes a different kind of hilarious, IMO.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-12-13 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dscotton.livejournal.com
Admittedly, those analogies are awesome, but I remember seeing that as an email forward when I was in high school. And that was a while ago.

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