(no subject)
Nov. 8th, 2004 09:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theweaselkingBorrowing from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sterlingspider, we have here both the best RPG review ever and "the most horrible, misogynist, badly made, mind numbingly painful RPG known to man", with a theme song that sounds like "cookie monster chasing a drum kit down a staircase"
Warning: The RPG link is probably not work-safe. The review has some bad words, but no pictures of dismembered corpses or naked people.
[Quote]
I mean, this happens all the time in the dungeon:
Player: Okay, the dark priest HAS to be down to his last few hit points. As I take my next strike, I'm gonna shout "This is for my brother! Eat testicle pubes and die, scrotum breath!"
Gamemaster: Now, hold on! I'm not sure you could get that entire sentence out before you hit. Oh, if only there was SOMETHING we could roll to see!
[/Quote]
If you've ever had that problem, you need FATAL.
In fact, you need a LOT of fatal things.
sterlingspider, we have here both the best RPG review ever and "the most horrible, misogynist, badly made, mind numbingly painful RPG known to man", with a theme song that sounds like "cookie monster chasing a drum kit down a staircase"Warning: The RPG link is probably not work-safe. The review has some bad words, but no pictures of dismembered corpses or naked people.
[Quote]
I mean, this happens all the time in the dungeon:
Player: Okay, the dark priest HAS to be down to his last few hit points. As I take my next strike, I'm gonna shout "This is for my brother! Eat testicle pubes and die, scrotum breath!"
Gamemaster: Now, hold on! I'm not sure you could get that entire sentence out before you hit. Oh, if only there was SOMETHING we could roll to see!
[/Quote]
If you've ever had that problem, you need FATAL.
In fact, you need a LOT of fatal things.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-08 07:56 am (UTC)From first galance, we seem to have some old scholl Conan fans.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-08 08:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-08 08:38 am (UTC)Sartin and MacLennan are gods!
...wow.
Date: 2004-11-08 08:49 am (UTC)It *does* sound like Cookie Monster chasing a drum-kit downstairs.
Clarification: the link to the review is work-safe. Painful, but work safe.
The FATAL page, OTOH, is not. At least they're honest about trying to strike a balance between twinking and accurately reflecting the grimy, grungy, sexist, unhealthy middle ages (but with trolls 'n' kobolds 'n' stuff, so they can draw more naked humanoids); the dramatist or narrativist approach is not their concern.
And then there's the download. Drowning in mechanics, but without any of the neat setting or concept ideas in Fates Worse Than Death. Gender difference rules based on the opinion of a very dead Aristotle and the behaviour of male and female cuttlefish. An entire species wherein the females kill any woman more attractive than they are. Pages of charisma charts including such descriptors as "gay" or "orgasm from viewing". And, please god, does anybody anywhere actually need a chart that determines their areola hue and anal depth accommodation potential?
One redeeming feature: FATAL paper burns exceptionally well.
Re: ...wow.
Date: 2004-11-08 08:54 am (UTC)> accurately reflecting the grimy, grungy, sexist, unhealthy middle
> ages
Yeah, like all those "constant gang rape without retrubution" parts of the middle ages.
And the "gay ogre appears and attempts to sodomize caster" critical magic fumble.
Re: ...wow.
Date: 2004-11-08 09:30 am (UTC)"Oftentimes, the druid begins an anal frenzy attempting to thwart the tree."
...I don't want to know. I don't.
...dear god, I can't stop reading. It's like a car crash with calliope music.
Re: ...wow.
Date: 2004-11-08 09:37 am (UTC)Re: ...wow.
Date: 2004-11-08 09:42 am (UTC)"Any similarity to actual people, organizations, places, or events is purely coincidental. Copyright (c) 2000-2004 Fatal Games."
I want to solve this problem with a chainsaw.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-08 09:27 am (UTC)A very random question...
Date: 2007-04-02 10:23 pm (UTC)I know this is an ancient post, but I was googling my username and this post came up.
The upshot of all this is now I'm all sorts of curious what the link up might be and you seem to invite friendly chatter so I figured why not just ask. I know the odds of you remembering are low, but it was worth a shot.
Re: A very random question...
Date: 2007-04-02 10:33 pm (UTC)Frankly, the post is from 2004. I have *no clue* who linked it to me.
I know a lot of gamers who toss links around, and who know I love funny/bad gaming stories. I suspect it came to me via that pipeline - somebody saw it, sent it to their friends, who sent it to their friends, who sent it to me.
So I'm sorry I can't nail it down further, but that's what I've got for you.
Re: A very random question...
Date: 2007-04-02 10:48 pm (UTC)Thanks anyway!