And people call me paranoid when I say he won't live to take office, not in the USA.

SS orders Dallas police to stop screening crowd for weapons, allow everyone in unsearched, before Obama rally.

Real, true headlines:

"Alien Sex Offenders Being Deported From Virginia"

No, not Freddie Mercury.

Queen apologises for swan attack.

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Turkey invades Iraq

Bonus points for hypocrisy: The USA is suggesting that Turkey should be really careful in making sure to only target actual combatants.

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"It has never been our purpose to name carpets in a way that would be considered negative by anyone"

IKEA: Cultural imperialist oppressors of the Danish!

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