Deadlands!
Jan. 17th, 2007 12:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theweaselkingDay 18 of the Rocky Springs expedition: Arrived in Rocky Springs. Wasted 3 hours getting stupid town people to shut up and tell me about the real problem that is "too fantastic" for them to tell me by telegram. As expected, it is the zombies again.
I hate the zombies.
Stupid town people with the zombie problem always act JUST LIKE the people with the REAL monster problem, and, just like the real monster problem peoples, they never tell you anything about it until you get there because they are afraid you will not believe them. No, you must travel all the way out to them, and then endure their hemming and their hawwing, and their boo hoo you will not believe me and their oh no the terror is too great you will think us crazy. Shut up! I already thought you crazy for not using telegraph like civilised people with the monster problem. I believe you, I will still believe you after you tell me, now speak me of the monster that I have come so far to see and study and catalog and shoot!
When finally they get to the point, always it is the zombies.
Bah! If I wanted to shoot humans, I would not have to travel so far! And you can't even mount them proper on the wall - after all, everyone who sees them just says "Viktor! You were 'hunting' out behind the cathedral with the shovel, again! You are a Bad Viktor!" and they believe me not when I say that no, this is the zombie, it chases the stupid town people and eats the brains.
The zombies, they are no good for the proper trophy hunter.
The problem is, you must keep travel to the stupid little towns with the stupid little zombie problems that they are not telling you about, or else you will never find the little towns that are really not telling you about their DEADLY WEREWOLF problem or the ones that do not tell you about their HORRIBLE UNDERGROUND SNAKE-WORM problem or the ones that do not tell you about their INCREDIBLE RUSSIAN FISH-MAN problem.
The worse problem: if, now that you are here, you do not kill the zombies for the stupid town people, the stupid town people does not pays you, and soon you do not have the money to find the new town with the new "secret menace too terrible for man to bear".
Which is always the zombies again.
I hate the zombies.
- From the journal of Dr Viktor Kettensäge, Aug 14th, 1877
I hate the zombies.
Stupid town people with the zombie problem always act JUST LIKE the people with the REAL monster problem, and, just like the real monster problem peoples, they never tell you anything about it until you get there because they are afraid you will not believe them. No, you must travel all the way out to them, and then endure their hemming and their hawwing, and their boo hoo you will not believe me and their oh no the terror is too great you will think us crazy. Shut up! I already thought you crazy for not using telegraph like civilised people with the monster problem. I believe you, I will still believe you after you tell me, now speak me of the monster that I have come so far to see and study and catalog and shoot!
When finally they get to the point, always it is the zombies.
Bah! If I wanted to shoot humans, I would not have to travel so far! And you can't even mount them proper on the wall - after all, everyone who sees them just says "Viktor! You were 'hunting' out behind the cathedral with the shovel, again! You are a Bad Viktor!" and they believe me not when I say that no, this is the zombie, it chases the stupid town people and eats the brains.
The zombies, they are no good for the proper trophy hunter.
The problem is, you must keep travel to the stupid little towns with the stupid little zombie problems that they are not telling you about, or else you will never find the little towns that are really not telling you about their DEADLY WEREWOLF problem or the ones that do not tell you about their HORRIBLE UNDERGROUND SNAKE-WORM problem or the ones that do not tell you about their INCREDIBLE RUSSIAN FISH-MAN problem.
The worse problem: if, now that you are here, you do not kill the zombies for the stupid town people, the stupid town people does not pays you, and soon you do not have the money to find the new town with the new "secret menace too terrible for man to bear".
Which is always the zombies again.
I hate the zombies.
- From the journal of Dr Viktor Kettensäge, Aug 14th, 1877
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-17 05:12 am (UTC)I am running a one-shot that has to cope with *this?*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-17 05:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-17 04:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-30 05:43 pm (UTC)Waitwaitwaitaminute, I just clued into something.
Rocky Springs?
Cool.