Fun with Cretin Science

[theweaselking]

Brian Benson, an eighth-grade student who won first place in the Life Science/Biology category for his project “Creation Wins!!!,” says he disproved part of the theory of evolution. Using a rolled-up paper towel suspended between two glasses of water with Epsom Salts, the paper towel formed stalactites. He states that the theory that they take millions of years to develop is incorrect.

“Scientists say it takes millions of years to form stalactites,” Benson said. “However, in only a couple of hours, I have formed stalactites just by using paper towel and Epsom Salts. Duh, I eat poop!”
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Ooookay, can we count how many ways he's fundamentally wrong, here?

#1: "evolution" of ROCKS?
#2: "biology" of ROCKS?
#3: When was the last time you saw a stalactite made out of epsom salts?
#4: Poop tastes bad, and eating poop is bad for you.

Comments

[anivair.livejournal.com]

This is because librarians are hiding something.

[jagash.livejournal.com]

#5: He just disproved the intelligent design concept that life is too complex to occur by chance alone. I mean hell, 2 components + an 8th grader can make stalactites which normally take millions of years in controlled conditions to form in their 3d structure.

[sivi-volk.livejournal.com]

I need to stop reading through the whole comment thread on PZ's site. Same goes for Slacktivist's Left Behind posts.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

To keep your blood pressure low?

[sivi-volk.livejournal.com]

Not so much, for the comment threads. Ignoring trolls they're usually pretty informative. But they're long and take time I ought to be using to write my thesis.

[itlandm.livejournal.com]

This must be seriously embarrassing for him to read when he grows up.

[graethorne.livejournal.com]

GOOD! In the fullness of time, he shall come to realize how much of his ass (metaphoric-wise) he hath shewn.

[itlandm.livejournal.com]

But he's a brainwashed 8th-grader. People shouldn't publish the asses of brainwashed eight-graders on the Net.

[graethorne.livejournal.com]

Even an 8th grader should know better... 'cept his brain's been crippled via socialogical slash & burn surgery...

They're hurting children, damnitte...

[opaqueplanet.livejournal.com]

The worst part is that he won first place.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

he's a brainwashed poorly educated child and a fool. No surprises and no shame on the kid (his educators and parents, yes., Not the kid).

But I'm with Opaqueplanet - the horror here is he won first prize with this!

[atlasimpure.livejournal.com]

I don't know, that one was insepid but the little girl with the milk water was well done and a few of the other children showed actual promise.