Because I haven't offended enough people today:

[theweaselking]

Jay brings the funny:

I've never understood why so many men have to resort to date rape drugs. Some of these guys are even pretty good looking, but they immediately spike a prospective date's drink, even though most mickey'd girls will end up swooning/puking at the club and will go home with a friend instead of the criminal who drugged her.

No. Instead, charm a girl. This shouldn't even have to be said. Make a woman laugh. Get her interested. Dance with her. And once you get her back to your place or even to a secluded parking lot, hit her with a brick.

Bricks are legal to own. They're cheap - you can get a pretty good brand new brick at the hardware store for like a buck. Old used ones are like everywhere.

The best part is you get a much more precise dosage with a brick. No worries about using too little - if so, hit her again! If you think she might remember the encounter, hit her again! If she's still struggling, bam! More brick! Accidentally overdo it, and now she's bleeding out? Hit her again! Problem solved (except for the midnight gardening part).

Bricks are reusable, eco-friendly, cheap and easy to get to. There is no good goddamned reason to resort to date rape drugs.

I'm a bad person for laughing.

Comments

Re: Well, then..

[flemco.livejournal.com]

I actually liked this one rather a lot. It suffered from the same unplayability curse, but the manual was one hell of a great read.

[spurious-logic.livejournal.com]

I'm a bad person for laughing

No you're not. If only because most folks here at the office are laughing too (did I mention, I'm already looking for another job?)

Reposting.

Re: Well, then..

[spurious-logic.livejournal.com]

We tried playing it as a drinking game once.

I loved this ability:
Making Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

I know you don't care if people are just offended by this, but you might possibly want to include a trigger warning.

Re: Well, then..

[flemco.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I still have a copy tucked away somewhere in my ancient boxes of books.

Re: Well, then..

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

HoL is awesome.

"populated entirely by filthy fucking orcs who live entirely in the public domain HA HA HA EAT ME GARY" is my second-favourite quote, after the bit about requiring the GM to put up with the "whining, benumbed nematodes" and trusting them not to piss in the toaster.

HoL is great.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I think that tends to fall under "offense", personally.

If you disagree, please explain why (no, seriously) because I don't get it, and I'm not likely ever going to if you don't explain it.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

"MILLIONS and MILLIONS of uncopyrightable ORCS!"

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I'm moderately offended. As far as I can tell, it's because I imagine myself as the person being hit by the brick.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

What are you talking about, violent rape jokes are totally unproblematic! (But "Goodbye Earl" is very offensive and should be banned from the radio.)

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I can imagine myself as being hit by the brick.

But I understand it's not the same. And, at the same time, I laugh.

And I feel kinda bad for doing it.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

"Problematic" does not mean "unfunny".

Take Daffy Duck raping Porky Pig.

(PS: I like Goodbye Earl. I wish there was a metal cover. That would be awesome)

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

I wondered when someone would publish my secret

[kadath.livejournal.com]

There's quite a bit at work here I don't feel like unpacking, especially since if I try, flemco will appear and start to be annoying at me, and that's really more puerility than I feel like dealing with tonight.

[affreca.livejournal.com]

Because you put spiders under cuts, and hell of a lot less people die of spider bites than are raped.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_jeremiad/]

1) Because survivors of rape may read your journal. By choosing not to put the joke behind a cut, you're in effect saying you're okay with re-traumatizing them and/or belittling a very frightening experience.

2)Because sexual assualt, intimate partner violence, and rape are huge problems, at least in America. I've worked on a child abuse crisis line, in a domestic violence shelter, and as a hospital accompaniment to rape survivors and while the idea of women getting hit in the head with a brick is just a joke to you, it's a sorry fucking reality for a lot of women. I know that having seen women who've been beaten in the head with various blunt objects and assaulted afterwards really makes me not amused by the whole "Let's physically assault a woman and then rape her," joke.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to defend him in general. "Puerile" is what he's best at.

And I understand the objection to rape jokes, in general.

And, at the same time, I laugh. It makes me feel bad, partly. And partly it makes me laugh.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

It worked on your wife!

Re: Well, then..

[catcom.livejournal.com]

"Guess you failed your save on THAT one, Mr 10-by-10 stone corridor!"

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I hope that more people are *afraid* of spiders than are raped, but you have a point.

[flemco.livejournal.com]

Because it works!

[kadath.livejournal.com]

*sigh*, apparently I'm going to try anyway....

If you were to laugh at a gay-bashing joke, would you republish it? Or would you be ashamed of yourself--and I mean actually ashamed, not the jokey, "ha-ha, look what a bad person I am!" thing you appear to have going right now.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

1) I don't think that quoting the phrase is the same, but I'm also not a victim.

2) I see your point. Done.

[flemco.livejournal.com]

Everybody's got something they do best. The trick is finding it before you die.

[flemco.livejournal.com]

Believe it or not, that joke was crafted over a period of years just so people would laugh at it and feel bad for doing so.

The trick to telling it in person is to keep your voice deadpan.