Because I haven't offended enough people today:

[theweaselking]

Jay brings the funny:

I've never understood why so many men have to resort to date rape drugs. Some of these guys are even pretty good looking, but they immediately spike a prospective date's drink, even though most mickey'd girls will end up swooning/puking at the club and will go home with a friend instead of the criminal who drugged her.

No. Instead, charm a girl. This shouldn't even have to be said. Make a woman laugh. Get her interested. Dance with her. And once you get her back to your place or even to a secluded parking lot, hit her with a brick.

Bricks are legal to own. They're cheap - you can get a pretty good brand new brick at the hardware store for like a buck. Old used ones are like everywhere.

The best part is you get a much more precise dosage with a brick. No worries about using too little - if so, hit her again! If you think she might remember the encounter, hit her again! If she's still struggling, bam! More brick! Accidentally overdo it, and now she's bleeding out? Hit her again! Problem solved (except for the midnight gardening part).

Bricks are reusable, eco-friendly, cheap and easy to get to. There is no good goddamned reason to resort to date rape drugs.

I'm a bad person for laughing.

Comments

Re: Well, then..

[flemco.livejournal.com]

I actually liked this one rather a lot. It suffered from the same unplayability curse, but the manual was one hell of a great read.

Re: Well, then..

[spurious-logic.livejournal.com]

We tried playing it as a drinking game once.

I loved this ability:
Making Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed

Re: Well, then..

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

Did you get the supplement with the live action RPG inside?

[spurious-logic.livejournal.com]

I'm a bad person for laughing

No you're not. If only because most folks here at the office are laughing too (did I mention, I'm already looking for another job?)

Reposting.

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

I know you don't care if people are just offended by this, but you might possibly want to include a trigger warning.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I think that tends to fall under "offense", personally.

If you disagree, please explain why (no, seriously) because I don't get it, and I'm not likely ever going to if you don't explain it.

[affreca.livejournal.com]

Because you put spiders under cuts, and hell of a lot less people die of spider bites than are raped.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_jeremiad/]

1) Because survivors of rape may read your journal. By choosing not to put the joke behind a cut, you're in effect saying you're okay with re-traumatizing them and/or belittling a very frightening experience.

2)Because sexual assualt, intimate partner violence, and rape are huge problems, at least in America. I've worked on a child abuse crisis line, in a domestic violence shelter, and as a hospital accompaniment to rape survivors and while the idea of women getting hit in the head with a brick is just a joke to you, it's a sorry fucking reality for a lot of women. I know that having seen women who've been beaten in the head with various blunt objects and assaulted afterwards really makes me not amused by the whole "Let's physically assault a woman and then rape her," joke.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I'm moderately offended. As far as I can tell, it's because I imagine myself as the person being hit by the brick.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

What are you talking about, violent rape jokes are totally unproblematic! (But "Goodbye Earl" is very offensive and should be banned from the radio.)

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I can imagine myself as being hit by the brick.

But I understand it's not the same. And, at the same time, I laugh.

And I feel kinda bad for doing it.

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

I wondered when someone would publish my secret

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

It worked on your wife!

[flemco.livejournal.com]

Because it works!

[chaosrah.livejournal.com]

then i'm a bad person too, lmao

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

I didn't laugh, even though I got right away what flemco was trying to do. As a matter of fact, it made me sick to my stomach.

And I was trying to articulate exactly why, but I see that kadath and _jeremiad have done so handily already.

Thank you for cutting it.

[leighdb.livejournal.com]

Same here. There's some things I just can't find funny.

[spartonian.livejournal.com]

I'm a bad person too.

[misanthrope-mom.livejournal.com]

Wow, I must REALLY be a bad person. I've been raped at knifepoint, and I've barfed on the way home from a club from what was probably a date-rape drug.

I just read it as criticizing the technique, and the absurdity of the type of person who does this, like, sitting at a seminar, reviewing tips.

Laughed, didn't feel bad about it at all.

[opaqueplanet.livejournal.com]

2nded. Not violently raped, but sexually assaulted.

Laughed hard.

Yay using humour to deal!

[bellacrow.livejournal.com]

*giggling*

[atlasimpure.livejournal.com]

Stealing.

my boyfriend's sick/lovable comments...

[still-asking.livejournal.com]

'but don't they watch TV?"

apparently, on crime dramas, tracking the crumbly bits from a brick to the particular abandoned building/quarry/warehouse would be quite in vogue

there was mention of 'Dexter's rocks' - which I will not explain as not to spoiler anyone who has not yet seen those episodes of the series - alas, the self censorship
< mock sigh >

also, the thought of someone thinking that they'd know exactly how hard to hit someone so as to incapicatiate without permanently injuring them is funny to the son of a defense attorney

edited to add - and yes, he felt bad even finding - other - things funny during a rape joke, and wanted to know WTF I was doing telling him this while he was driving - so we BOTH had the involuntary humor response

also edited for typos