Rocky Springs, New Zealand, 31 December 1880

[theweaselking]

My Niece Anna,

Have arrived safely in Rocky Springs where they are asking for my help. "You are the great hunter" they say. "No one but you can help us", they say. "It is horrible and unspeakable and terrifying and you must see in person", they say. "It is the stupid zombies again" I say, but, incredibly, I am wrong.

It is worse.

The scourge of terror that fills their dreams and ruins their sleeps and leads them to call for my aid from half a world away? It is not the RIP-CLAWED TERRIBLE CARNIVOROUS SPEEDCHICKEN. "We like those", they say. It is not the FANGED CRICKET THAT EATS THE CHILDREN. "Those are normal", they say.

It is rodents. Possums.

Stupid, normal, ordinary possums. Who eat the crops.

I hates the townspeoples and wish only for the stupid zombies to eats their brains.

Loving you,
Doctor Viktor Kettensäge

Comments

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

I stunned a possum with a tree branch, back in '04. Got a good close up look as it laid there (thought it was dead at first). Thing is a freakin' pre-historic alien pod hunter! Not human, by any stretch of the imagination.

[basal-surge.livejournal.com]

Marsupials, not rodents. No victorian mad scientist would make such a basic mistake in classification, surely.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

He hates them for being easy to kill, terrible trophies, and considers them *deeply* beneath him. He doesn't *care* what they are - they're simply not worthy targets.

Besides, it was a small postcard and explaining "marsupials" to his American neice would take up too much space.

[jsbowden.livejournal.com]

There's the other bit where he would never misspell opossum either.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

He spells it the way the stupid villagers who need to have their brains eaten say it.

[pyroofone.livejournal.com]

I loved that character. Much Humor.

[lightinchains.livejournal.com]

We want more Doktor Vik.