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theweaselkingI have no idea:
PC1: "Frost giants are responsible for the economic decline of Europe!"
Me: "Ally is a very strong term"
On PC1's wedding ring throwing off his typing:
DM: "PC1 is not an exceptionally athletic person, leave him alone."
On changing your god to Moradin from Bahamut:
PC3: "that's when I realised I preferred building things to Justice."
PC2: "You got traded, it's like hockey."
On dice:
Round 1 of the fight, Ranger goes first, five attacks, four crits.
Swordmage goes next, three attacks, three crits.
GM cries.
PC1: "Gloomthief! I steal his emo! [roll roll roll] I whacked him, and now he's blond."
Me: "Bling is it's own reward!"
Me: "It is not 'racism' when they actually ARE Always Chaotic Evil!"
PC2: "It's right there on the character sheet."
While doing math in his head:
PC2: "Uh... 24-22-24"
Me: "That's a REALLY fucked up model, man."
PC1: "The defining racial characteristic of the Drow is Seasonal Affective Disorder"
On fire giants:
PC2: "I'm going to take their ears and make a necklace."
Me: "What, like Flava Flav?"
GM: "That's not a necklace. Protective elbow pads, maybe."
On things his parents said:
PC1: "We'd bought the house and I was 20 before I stopped and said 'hey, that was an implication.'"
PC2: "I'm the only Arcane caster in the group!"
PC3: "Yeah, after I got thrown out of wizard school for shoving."
Me: "That was the same line he used last time, and it didn't make it into the quotes file then, either."
GM: "He pushed it in an arc!"
Me: "It's on ice. He curled it!"
PC2: "I'm Winterkin. We're Canadian elves."
PC1: "Elves With Brooms"
On why the Giant Ice Worm has art objects in it's stomach:
PC1: "Did it eat a museum?"
Me: "We shall head south, to the previously undiscovered country!"
PC1: "When we get there, we will launch photon torpedoes at God."
GM: "That's actually a pretty good description of D&D."
PC1: "My wife and I never used to swear. Then we met each other."
PC2: "Swordmages do it from all the way over there!"
PC3: "Can you Thorn Whip him into bed?"
PC1: "The only damage I took is damage I took by moving adjacent to things that were on fire!"
PC2: "But killing all these innocent Frost Giants will upset the natural order!"
PC3: "There are no innocent Frost Giants"
Me: "Or natural order."
PC2: "I know, it's GREAT!"
On the use of gems in a Dragon's gizzard:
PC3: "If they're DILITHIUM crystals, they could grind up the magic items."
PC1: "It they're dilithium crystals, we are getting onto our spelljammer and flying out of here."
PC3: "I don't want to mount something that has an aura that explodes!"
Me: "Jimmy The Beak, Bulette Loan Shark"
Me: "You know, this seems kind of anticlimatic. I wonder if we have the wrong Frost Spire?"
PC4: "What's he going to do, jump off the tower? Can he FLY?"
DM: "It doesn't matter if he can fly, he'll still probably take less damage"
Me: "And get eaten by a giant spider"
GM: "Oh, yeah, I forgot the spider."
PC1: "Did we just sack some kind of Elemental Hippy Commune?"
DM: "You ripped off his shadow and ran away with it giggling!"
PC1: "I was invisible at the time!"
PC2: "It's STILL NOT SUBTLE!"
And now, the other game, where PC1 and GM have swapped places and PC4 is someone different:
DM: "Demons have small kidneys because they don't pee much!"
PC2: "I want Mammaries of 1000 Liftimes"
DM: "Those would be...."
Me: "Droopy"
DM: "Or numerous!"
On inappropriate ship names in Star Trek Online:
DM: "Sure, it's all Captain BigWang of the USS Dickbutt in the newbie zones, but you get up to people who've spent a while and you'll see people with ship names like the USS Cockring"
Everyone else: "...."
DM: "Cochrane! I meants Cochrane!"
On inappropriate ship names in Star Trek Online:
DM: "Yamato's so fat she deforms subspace!"
On inappropriate behaviours in hormonally-altered near-parents:
DM: "I see babies and now I'm all 'I'll just take that one home.'"
Me: "You're a high-level adventurer! OF COURSE you can shiv people with a mop!"
On re-use of characters from previous campaigns:
PC4: "Goddamn it, how come my character is the one that was evil?"
DM: "Because YOUR CHARACTER WAS THE ONE THAT WAS EVIL."
PC4: "Awww. They've summoned the sasquatch."
PC3: "Did we get at least a SHORT rest?"
GM: "Yes."
PC3: "So I'm not still stunned?"
On Parenthood:
DM: "We upgraded my wife's computer two years ago because we replace computers every four years, and that means that this year it's my turn! Great, yes? No, this year she wants a BABY."
It makes much more sense in context:
Me: "The new hit single - 'Noisily Squeakfellating' by Vagina Chicken."
PC2: "Your character sheet has limp wrists!"
On the topic of tea:
PC4: "Have I introduced you to Miss Gray tea?"
PC1: "You mean LADY Gray?"
PC4: "Oh no, this ain't no lady. You drink it and it TAKES YOUR THROAT HOSTAGE."
GM: "I have your sinuses now DIE MORTAL."
PC1: "The bellybutton is perfectly concealed because she's pulled her PANTS up."
A phrase that requries no context:
PC1: "Barbarian warrior sarong"
GM: "Dots are difficult terrain"
PC4: "You said they were freckles!"
GM: "I LIED. Well, actually, freckles are difficult terrain."
Me: "I'm thinking SHARP thoughts. Stabitha give me strength!"
On mapping conventions:
PC1: "All I'm saying is, it just needs to not look like an orifice."
PC2: "Does that table have a sphincter?"
PC4: "DO NOT PUT A RED CIRCLE AROUND IT THAT WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER"
PC4: "It's like, oh look, our old PCs, being awesome!"
Me: "We could have been awesome too if we.... wait a minute."
PC1: "You just don't want your butt anywhere near me, do you."
Me: "That's what she said!"
PC3: "3d10+3? To a civilian?"
On interspecies relations:
GM: "The statement 'nobody's going to eat your eyes' was a lie!"
Me: "Of course, there's a GNOME.
Me: "I'm an honorary gnome. I have a membership card."
PC1: "YOU DO NOT"
Me: "I do! It's a bard thing"
PC1: "I'M PRETTY SURE IT IS NOT!"
GM: "Any minute now he's going to try to inhabit your skin."
Me: "It's a kobobld thing!"
PC1: "THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH ABOUT THE KOBOLD-GNOME RELATIONSHIP"
On Kobold Diplomacy:
Me: "I'm wearing the skin of your respected leader! Why do you not love me?"
PC1: "Wank is not onomatopoeic"
Me: "It is when I do it!"
PC4: "Nobody expects a KNIFE to be in the middle of the lightning bolt!"
Me: "Can you imagine a cyclops with pinkeye?"
GM: "That would be the saddest thing ever"
PC4: {ASL speaking}
GM: "Uh... 'What time is my breast enhancement surgery Mr Moose?'"
PC4: "You fuck dead moose."
GM: "At least I got 'moose' right!"
PC2: "It's trying to eat me from the butt up!"
Me: "Your codpiece is unzipped!"
GM: "DAMMIT!"
GM: "There is a monster using tentacle attacks and it's not attacking you."
PC4: "Yay!"
PC2: "You must be getting old."
In terms of whose figment of imagination the Warlock's fan club is:
PC1: "JOHN'S. FIGMENT. JOHN'S. FIGMENT."
Chain Devils come from trees:
PC1: "That makes no sense!"
GM: "You're right, but this is Hell."
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 05:23 am (UTC)Me: "The new hit single - 'Noisily Squeakfellating' by Vagina Chicken."
Context please?
Loved the bit about the cyclops.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 05:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 05:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 05:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 08:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 06:15 am (UTC)Dude, is it Ragnarok time already? :(
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 10:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 06:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 04:11 pm (UTC)And, really, I've been recording fewer quotes recently than I used to, but I still get some each time.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-21 04:05 am (UTC)Or that might be why we get so few combat encounters done per session, either or.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-21 04:18 am (UTC)1) we're high level, and there's a ton of stuff to do.
2) We often wait for things that we shouldn't really wait for. Someone spends Second Wind, okay, they can take the rest of their actions immediately and figure out the details of how much they healed while the next person goes, no problem, most of the time. And part of the point of The Big Init Board is so that everyone can know who's coming next and plan their turn, while knowing that they can't really plan anything quite yet if 3/4 of the game goes before them because stuff will change.
3) When we're waiting for stuff, we get distracted. Distraction is entertaining and part of the fun and usually hilarious and also *contagious*. And then we spend 30 minutes making penis jokes while the GM is laughing too hard to handle anything the next person wants to do.
None of these are really PROBLEMS. #2 is the only one I'd like to change, because we do wind up going slooooowly through content, and spreading the same distractions over more rounds would make me happier.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-21 04:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-21 04:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 06:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 02:31 pm (UTC)Just awesome!
Hey man... can I post this somewhere else? I know a lot of people who'd love this quotes!
It's a private forum, nothing like FB, twitter or whatever other social network around.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 04:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 10:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-20 05:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-21 05:52 pm (UTC)YOINK